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This says in summary:
To incapacitate an aggressor you must destroy either the central nervous system (head shot, base of skull, backbone) or damage vital organs (COM).
In order to do this you must have penetration to get to the organs by a COM shot, since accomplishing a head shot is luck in an unexpected event that will be immediately violent.
In order to damage organs the bullet must also be large enough to create a permanent cavity to do damage.
I chose Winchester's Ranger 165g HP ( almost 1000 fps and 460 psi) and the expansion is roughly .60 inches (although hollowpoint expansion is not always guaranteed). And I put Speer Gold Dot a close second.
Through and through injuring a 3rd party is irrelevant as most handgun bullets can't do it, unless one misses the target.
I am a "big bore" type of guy and actually carry a 10mm occasionaly but the .40 is my general carry. So naturally I wouldn't even think of a .380 or whatever - and that is my preference.
Read the report and it might change some thinking - it did for me.
http://www.firearmstactical.com/pdf/fbi-hwfe.pdf
No Worries, Got Glock!
JSD in Texas
"Texans always move them." - Gen. R.E. Lee May 6, 1864, Battle of the Wilderness