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Thread: How the Elderly Call the Police

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    AZSATT's Avatar
    AZSATT is offline In God We Trust
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    Talking How the Elderly Call the Police

    An elderly couple is getting ready for bed when the wife tells her husband, “you left the light on in the shed, dear.”

    The husband looks out the window to see two thieves entering the tool shed.

    The husband calls 9-1-1 to say, “I need the police. There are a couple burglars stealing my tools out of my shed.”

    Dispatcher: “Sorry sir, it’ll be a little while. We’re really busy tonight. We’ll send a unit by as soon as we can.”

    Elderly husband: “Is that right? Ok. Thanks.” And he hangs up and counts to ten.

    The husband calls 9-1-1 right back: “I just called about the burglars in my shed. You don’t have to bother those busy officers. I just shot ‘em myself.” He hangs up.

    Within minutes four patrol cars, the SWAT team van, an ambulance, and a fire truck arrive at the elderly couple’s home and apprehend the burglars still loading property into a car in the alley.

    The SWAT Team supervisor yells at the elderly caller: “I thought you said you SHOT them?!”

    The husband yells back: “I thought YOU said you were BUSY!”
    "There is no consitutional right to be protected by the state against being murdered by criminals or madmen." (7th Cir. 1982, Bowers v. DeVito)
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZSATT View Post
    An elderly couple is getting ready for bed when the wife tells her husband, “you left the light on in the shed, dear.”

    The husband looks out the window to see two thieves entering the tool shed.

    The husband calls 9-1-1 to say, “I need the police. There are a couple burglars stealing my tools out of my shed.”

    Dispatcher: “Sorry sir, it’ll be a little while. We’re really busy tonight. We’ll send a unit by as soon as we can.”

    Elderly husband: “Is that right? Ok. Thanks.” And he hangs up and counts to ten.

    The husband calls 9-1-1 right back: “I just called about the burglars in my shed. You don’t have to bother those busy officers. I just shot ‘em myself.” He hangs up.

    Within minutes four patrol cars, the SWAT team van, an ambulance, and a fire truck arrive at the elderly couple’s home and apprehend the burglars still loading property into a car in the alley.

    The SWAT Team supervisor yells at the elderly caller: “I thought you said you SHOT them?!”

    The husband yells back: “I thought YOU said you were BUSY!”
    This one has worked for me 4 times. I live in a large Southwestern city with a mediocre police force. "Hello 911, I'd like to report a derelect car parked in front of my house and it has expired tags...been that way for two weeks." We're sorry, sir but were running 2-3 days behind on non-emergenciy calls....So I call back 10 minutes later; "I'd like to report a derelect car parked in front of my house next to a fire hydrant in a school bus loading zone." Usually in less than 10 minutes theres two squad cars and a flatbed tow truck working diligently at my location.

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    I love it........lol

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    While illegal, if I ever REALLY needed help IE: I was shot and dieing somewhere I'd say "A police officer is down at _____________" then hang up. Talk about a 30 second response.... pretty sad you have to do that but they won't send em like they do for uniforms as you're a mere peasant.
    Quick to the gun, Sure of your grip. Quick to the threat, sure of your shot. - Chris Costa

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