Honestly I say you are best off with what you feel more comfortable with. Yes the .40 is more of a man stopper, but if they are more comfortable with the 9mm then I say go with the 9mm. If they are a quicker shot with the 9mm because they are more comfortable with it, those extra seconds may save their life. Some of you say that it is better to have more of a man stopper, however I would much rather be shooting with something I know I am comfortable with. Some one on this site (can't remember who), has in their signature, "It is better to have well placed shots with a .22 than misses with a .44 magnum". I think this statement fits this question well.
In my opinion, two well placed shots to the chest with a 9mm can do just as much damage and stop a threat as a .40
I heard a quote one time by someone in the military. They were asked what they thought about the military switching to the 9mm round instead of the .45. The person who asked said it was stupid because the .45 was much more of a man stopper. The military person's response was "If I put two in your heart and one in your head...are you gonna know the difference?"
If you are comfortable with the .40, go with the .40. All I am saying is go with what you are comfortable with.
"Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"