Ccw badge holder night-ops
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Ccw badge holder night-ops

This is a discussion on Ccw badge holder night-ops within the Handgun Tactics, Training, and Practice forums, part of the Handguns category; First off; flashlights are for NEOPHYTES. I suppose these primitive means of illumination are sufficient for the average gunowner. But ...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    35

    Default Ccw badge holder night-ops

    First off; flashlights are for NEOPHYTES.

    I suppose these primitive means of illumination are sufficient for the average gunowner. But for a man such as myself who wields a GOLD SHIELD CCW BADGE as he guards the sheep, more is required.

    Please read carefully as I illuminate you (that was a clever pun) on my skillful and studied approach to NIGHT-OPS.

    Those who wear the CCW BADGE must Own The Night. I accomplish this first with NIGHT VISION GOGGLES. When the sun goes down, I am wearing NVG'S. Even in my own home, which I keep dark during the night. When I venture out of the house, I am always wearing four guns...on the strong side hip is my Ruger Super Redhawk chambered in .480 Ruger with a 3-9X 50 scope. On my off hip is my .500 Smith&Wesson. Right ankle; Colt Combat Commander. Left Ankle; Colt Python. I only carry AMERICAN steel on my person. There is a CCW Badge on each holster...but at night I shroud them to prevent reflection. My primary Gold Shielded CCW badge is in my Specially Embroidered CCW Wallet.

    After I have put on my firearms, it is time to dress for NIGHT OPS. I begin by applying a liberal coating of dark gray body paint over my sensuous naked flesh. Yes, I also paint my impressive manhood.

    For the next couple of hours I disguise myself as a hedge. At 5'8" and 345 lbs., I am roundish and sensual. Therefore, it only requires that I glue hedge clippings onto my naked body to produce the right effect. The only clothing I wear are my knee-high patent leather boots.

    I also disguise my wheelbarrow as a smaller hedge, as it is for supplies. On a typical night, I load it with four liters of mountain dew and six cans of Wolf Brand chili which I eat cold for the sake of operational security. I also take along five-hundred rounds of ammo for each of the pistols I carry. Other items: machete, axe, 6 cell Maglight, 80-million-candle-power spotlight attached to 12 volt battery, bolt cutters, throwing stars, throwing knives, expandable baton, night stick, snickers bars.

    After donning my NVG's, I am ready to begin NIGHT OPS. I move slowly and stealthily through my neighborhood until I find what looks like a trouble spot. If there is gang activity or potential thievery taking place, I park my wheelbarrow in a front yard and keep my lonely vigil. To passersby, I am just a hedge, standing next to a smaller hedge(the wheelbarrow). To the criminal element, I AM A NIGHTMARE.

    Usually, I take criminals by surprise. They turn and see a Hedge approaching, and then feel the impact of my night stick. When they regain conciousness they cannot help but ponder a new career.

    BUT THERE HAVE BEEN GUNFIGHTS.

    I battled it out with that Mexcian Gang, MS13 one night. About thirty members were drinking tequilla and playing their mariache music and swinging at pinatas in a local park. I crept to the edge of that park, and announced, 'THE PARK IS CLOSED.' Perhaps they never heard a hedge talk, because they opened fire all at once.

    HA....I gave them a dose of my 80-million candle power spotlight to blind them, then turned it off and moved into the bushes. Casualties were heavy. I will not say more. The only damage I sustained was to a Mountain Dew bottle.

    When the police arrived, I remained on scene. The responding officers thought I was a hedge, you see. One of the wounded gang bangers kept crying out, "el diablo de los matorrales lo hizo" That means "The Shrubbery Devil did this." I crept away stealthily.

    Not all nights are as eventful, but they are all satisfying. Satisfying, because I am doing my best to ensure public safety and morality in this town where I proudly wear THE GOLD SHIELDED CCW BADGE.

    Yours truly,

    The Shrubbery Devil.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    5

    Default Role Model

    You Sir, are my ultimate hero. I can only hope to find my inner shrubbery devil someday.

  3. #3
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    Aug 2009
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    MA, Away from the liberal loonies...
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    Oh, sweet holy Moses...
    You can give peace a chance alright..

    I'll seek cover in case it goes badly..

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Default

    LOL that was one fine exsample of stuff there that make my mind giggle.
    wow I clap for 10 mins sir standing up. the bush did it. carry on your mission from GOD.
    Could we could make this a ongoing comic book I do like great storys and mad tv is on only one time a week.

  5. #5
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    Tennessee
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    You had me until "sensuous naked flesh".
    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
    ...Jesus Christ and the American G.I.
    One died for your sins; the other for your freedom.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2011
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    Texas
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    Hedge hogs gone wild!!!

  7. #7
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    Jan 2011
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    Cal-LEFT-fornia
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    Impressive, sir, impressive. But I'm afraid you'll never measure up to Larryboy.

    "I...am...that...HERO!"

  8. #8
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    Apr 2010
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    Georgetown, Texas
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    I bow to you sir..!

    You are a true heroe, the protector of the holly of holllies. (little holes).

    Since you are a protector...I need to ask, do you have a cape? are you out and about with a compres shirt?
    how heavy is the NVG? do they make you look stylish?

    and the last but most important question...Do you, Sir. Wear Super heroe underware?

    The people of this forum...want to know.

  9. #9
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    Apr 2011
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    Sandpoint, Idaho
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BigSlick View Post
    You had me until "sensuous naked flesh".
    You had me at "sensuous naked flesh."
    Ton up!

  10. #10
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    Nov 2008
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    Mi
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    Oh No... Return of the Mall Ninja...
    Semper Fi

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