Men are not men.

[TekGreg]

When I'm on the road, I have a tendency to scan the radio for interesting topics. One I heard yesterday happened to coincide with a PM I was having with a member here on the forum who asked, "...what happened to the days when men were men?" The radio host was discussing the fact that everyone these days was so worried about how everything they did somehow "offended" someone. Everything had to be so PC that no one was willing to stand up for their principals. It also seemed that so many women were learning to do things for themselves because they were absent husbands and their children were absent fathers and growing up not knowing what a father figure was or even what a man was supposed to be good for. Also the fact that a man can't be trusted to keep his word anymore - it used to be that a man's word was his bond, regardless of any contract he signed or didn't.

Then the callers started calling in: One women from Wisconsin had a daughter who had three separate boyfriends, ALL of who had no idea how to change a tire and allowed her to do it in the snow on the side of the road. The caller also had her own power tools and none of these geniuses knew what they were called, much less how to use them.

So my question is partially what has happened to the "American Male," but moreso, how do we fix it? Also, don't get me wrong, I myself am a "Metrosexual," an all-around male that is fully hetero, shoots, hunts, loves cars, construction and getting dirty, but I can also cook, sew, clean, discuss books, art, likes to read and go antiquing. I think this makes me a better all-around survivalist and it makes me a damnsight more attractive to women, but I would never advocate removing the manly side from any boy or man. The radio announcer asked if we needed to start adding "Man Class" to the curriculum in High School since things like Auto, Metal and Wood shop had all been cut due to budgets. Women seem to have plenty of support for being women...what do you think?

What is the answer? Humor appreciated, but this is a serious question.

What do you think the answer is?

[TKA]

well........sit back and I'll let you in on my dementia lol The men of today,,,speaking mostly on the younger end, are to concerned with the video end of life, people are not teaching them work ethics like our moms and dads taught us.They are to interested in the party,and not what happens after.Most of the 20 to 30 year olds that I know here in my state, are to busy getting high and making more little degenerates like themselves.They do not like to work, they do not want to work. My dad taught me to save, change tires and tune up my car lol As well as learning a trade that would take my family through life. These young men of today have no clue.But just as we take the time to learn firearm saftey,and what to do in situations that require us to protect our homes and family, we need to remember to teach our young men and woman the values and morals that we ourselves were taught. just saying lol

[Phillip Gain]

When I'm on the road, I have a tendency to scan the radio for interesting topics. One I heard yesterday happened to coincide with a PM I was having with a member here on the forum who asked, "...what happened to the days when men were men?" The radio host was discussing the fact that everyone these days was so worried about how everything they did somehow "offended" someone. Everything had to be so PC that no one was willing to stand up for their principals. It also seemed that so many women were learning to do things for themselves because they were absent husbands and their children were absent fathers and growing up not knowing what a father figure was or even what a man was supposed to be good for. Also the fact that a man can't be trusted to keep his word anymore - it used to be that a man's word was his bond, regardless of any contract he signed or didn't.

Then the callers started calling in: One women from Wisconsin had a daughter who had three separate boyfriends, ALL of who had no idea how to change a tire and allowed her to do it in the snow on the side of the road. The caller also had her own power tools and none of these geniuses knew what they were called, much less how to use them.

So my question is partially what has happened to the "American Male," but moreso, how do we fix it? Also, don't get me wrong, I myself am a "Metrosexual," an all-around male that is fully hetero, shoots, hunts, loves cars, construction and getting dirty, but I can also cook, sew, clean, discuss books, art, likes to read and go antiquing. I think this makes me a better all-around survivalist and it makes me a damnsight more attractive to women, but I would never advocate removing the manly side from any boy or man. The radio announcer asked if we needed to start adding "Man Class" to the curriculum in High School since things like Auto, Metal and Wood shop had all been cut due to budgets. Women seem to have plenty of support for being women...what do you think?

What is the answer? Humor appreciated, but this is a serious question.

What do you think the answer is?

There is a movement afoot in American society to neuter the men. Symbolically at least. A large part of this is driven by consumer advertising. Women are a very big market for advertisers, who feel that the easiest way to appeal to them is with "smart career woman / dumb ape husband" ads. As with most things, it works by appealing to the least common denominator.

Additionally, the male persona has come to be associated with war, physical violence, sexual violence, etc. Sadly, this is a very real link. Men, by far, perpetrate much more violence than women.

The movement towards kinder, gentler, maleness in the US began in the 1960s and 1970s as part of the fringe "hippie / make love not war" movement. It went mainstream in the 1980s in the form of the SNAG - sensitive new age guy. This period also marked the beginning of the term "sexual harassment" and the advent of workplace sensitivity training, on and on.

This all sort of led into the "political correctness" movement. The PC movement was a really good idea at the beginning. "Let's all try to be nicer to each other, not use offensive language, and keep the workplace free of sexual drama." But like so many good ideas, it just went TOO FAR.

Now as for yourself - I'd personally not consider you a Metrosexual. You would be more of a Renaissance Guy. Metros generally are not into shooting, hunting, getting dirty, etc. I'm much the same way. Learned a lot from Dad, Mom, the US Army, and college life on how to be self-sufficient and well-rounded. I will pass along those same core values to my own son.

Which brings me to your big question, "How do we fix it?" As men, we start by acting right and BEING men. When we see a man being un-manly, we call him out on it. Shame him, and try to teach him better. (If my daughter's boyfriend didn't know how to change a tire, I'd ridicule him mercilessly and offer to show him how.)

Most importantly, we must raise our sons to be men. And we must raise our daughters to not settle for someone who doesn't act like a man should. (Note...this does NOT mean raising your daughter to be dependent on a man. I mean simply to raise her to set her standards high.)

[pafindr]

I may have heard the same show that you did but could only get a few minutes here and there to listen to it.

I believe that some of this started a long time ago and we are just starting to see the effects of it all.
Some of it has to do with women wanting us to constantly be in touch with our feeling and wanting us to be more sensitive. Well, this is the result of men becoming more sensitive.
Note: I'm not blaming women totally for this. It's the men's fault because they don't stand their ground and be true to their nature. Unfortunately some men go over the top and act like Neanderthals instead of being stable, solid men.

Also, don't get me wrong, I myself am a "Metrosexual," an all-around male that is fully hetero, shoots, hunts, loves cars, construction and getting dirty, but I can also cook, sew, clean, discuss books, art, likes to read and go antiquing.

Just wanted to clear this up a little. Based on your definition you are not a Metrosexual. A metrosexual goes to the spa, gets his nails done, does the whole "going shopping" thing, etc.
What you described is actually a Renaissance man: a man whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas.

[Providence Ranch]

I strongly encourage that you read a book called Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge. Many of the answers to the question of what has happened to the real men in our society are very clearly explained, and what we remaining men can do about it.

[Nightmare45]

Men = Hunter-Gatherer
Women = Nest Builder
Metro = PC

[tuts40]

PC'ness has gotton us to the point where the hetero white male is the only unprotected "class". No special provisions, no particular legislations for, no points for employer when hired, no line cutting privileges for the heterosexual white male. Women, minorities, disabled, illegal's, gay's all get some special considerations. Not the hetero white male. So man-up and be proud that once again, anything you've done you've done without handouts.

[pafindr]

Wild at Heart is an decent book. I felt that Wild at Heart, even thought it was supposed to be geared toward men, was trying to explain to women how men behaved. So for me it had an odd tone.

I though Maximized Manhood by Edwin Louis Cole was much better on the subject. It's geared directly to men and doesn't soften the edges.

I used both books in my church small groups and the men preferred Maximized Manhood.

[localgirl]

I could ramble on for hours about this topic, but it all boils down to a very simple answer: if you want to see "men" in the world, you have to raise them.

Me, I prefer the Renaissance Man. It's a point of pride that I can take care of any man-things in my life, but it would also be nice to have someone want to do it for me.

[Dennis1209]

It all started with the intervention of the Federal Government in the public school system. You wouldn't believe some of the crap some public schools have adopted. Now these public indoctrinated kids have been entering the government and private sectors. When I was a kid (milk was delivered to your home), we played outside all day and got into the occasional rumble. These days, most kids are in front of the TV, XYZ Box, computer most the time and have become sissified. IMO...