Things to never say to a cop...

[Lakeland Man]

1. Say, aren't you the cop from the Village People?

2. I always thought cops were supposed to be in GOOD shape.

3. Here. Hold my beer while I look for my license.

4. Why are you here? Dunkin Donuts is MILES from here.

5.


Any suggestions?

[Tucker's Mom]

5. I'll think about it.
(When asked about your DL.)

[Skiluvr03]

6. Do you have any rolling papers?

[xdmgator]

Man you must have been doing 80 to keep up with me

[kelcarry]

Which firearm do you want to see first?
I'm just transporting the machine gun and it isn't loaded--does that count?
Is this really necessary?

[julez456]

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

[sargedog]

This one happened to me once when I had a little to much to drink when I was 19. Occifer take me drunk I'm home. I am so glad I had a friend that would take me home. He was in a very generous mood to not take my stupid heinie to jail.

[50SR9]

A friend of mine used this line after the cop repeatedly said, "I know you from somewhere and you are trouble." My friend replied, "No, you don't know me! I don't eat at doughnut shops and I don't go to gay bars!" He was arrested for dui. He told me he knew he was going to jail and the cop pissed him off.

[Treo]

6. Do you have any rolling papers?

Believe it or not I had an LAPD cop ask me that when I lived in Hollywood. He wanted me to go into the Krogers and buy some because he (obviously) didn't want to do it himself in uniform.

Long story short, I did it; I had no dope on me and just buying papers isn't against the law so it's not like he would have had cause (and I was young and dumb at the time). When I got back out of the store and handed him the papers he pulled out a bag of some very primo weed and rolled one up and proceeded to smoke up w/ me.

Definetely one of the wierder experiences in my life.

[The_Outlaw]

Officer; "What's your name?"

Me; "They call me the Outlaw, Who's asking?"

I don't think that would go over very well. :)