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Reply With QuoteTwo days, and I'm the first one to post a reply on this thread?
Anyway, you had been doing well for a while there, Sheldon. Booooooooooo!
The Pet Diaryes... Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
The re was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .
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Thank God I'm alive!
Two days, and I'm the first one to post a reply on this thread?
Anyway, you had been doing well for a while there, Sheldon. Booooooooooo!
Obviously you are not a cat owner...Originally Posted by tattedupboy
Thank God I'm alive!
That's only because I live in an apartment and I'm not allowed to have one. So thereObviously you are not a cat owner...
N I bet they do not allow loaded guns either but that did not stop you did it, be brave and try a real challenge and get a cat, if you can put up with it you can live with any gal that may come along. BTY did I say that I have five adorable blue eyed kittens FREE to a good home!That's only because I live in an apartment and I'm not allowed to have one. So there
nice... dogs rule.. cats are evil.
You can have my freedom as soon as I'm done with it!!!
Thank God I'm alive!
Actually, the lease mentions nothing about firearms. As for my firearms, I've mentioned in other threads that I don't store my weapons with a round in the chamber. The only time any of my firearms has a round chambered is when I carry them.N I bet they do not allow loaded guns either but that did not stop you did it, be brave and try a real challenge and get a cat, if you can put up with it you can live with any gal that may come along. BTY did I say that I have five adorable blue eyed kittens FREE to a good home!
So does that mean you want the Kitten?
Thank God I'm alive!
Nope. I'd much rather have a dog.So does that mean you want the Kitten?
Animal Raciest!! hey I just invented a new term, do you think we can get a big government grant to study it?
