2 Lessons to learn....

[Sheldon]

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat.

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, “Hey old man, have you ever danced?”

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, “No, I never did dance—and just never wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old fool, you’re gonna’ dance now,” and started shooting at the old man’s feet. The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to be tied.

When the last bullet had been fired the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man’s hands.

The old man said, “Son, did you ever kiss a mule’s ass?”

The young bully swallowed hard and said, “No, but I’ve always wanted to.”


There are two lessons for us all here:

1. Don’t waste ammunition.

2. Don’t mess with old people.

[1911 Headbanger]

Cousin Andy wasn't quite right. He always was a little slow. Everytime you saw him walking through town, he had a logging chain thrown over his shoulder, and dragging it on the ground about 10 feet behind him. Really... everywhere he went he was always dragging that big logging chain. So finally, one day, one of the town folk asked him. Hey Cousin Andy, why are you always dragging that logging chain? Andy stopped and replied, have you ever tried to push one?

Lessons: Ignorance is bliss. Don't question the obvious. Even stupid people can figure out the easy way to do something.