Old Farmer...

[Sheldon]

An Old Farmer's Advice:


* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight
And bull-strong.

*Keep skunks and bankers at a
Distance.

*Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a
John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner
Than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a
Grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't Never gonna happen anyway.

* Don 't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best
Answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get
Older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't Bothering you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever
Have to deal with, watches you from The mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a
Lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot
Easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some
Influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

* Don't pick a fight with an old man.
If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.

Yeah the last one has been retold a bunch of times but it is so true.....

[festus]

*If you ain't got time to do it right...when are you going to find time to do it over?

*Don't tell your neighbor how to plow his field

*Never drink a blind man's moonshine....How do you think he got blind?...Bad moonshine!