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#1
08-07-2009, 03:42 PM
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 Letter from the President's Desk (Joke) Dear Citizens, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I, President Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me, President Obama. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SH*T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have always prided myself on the amount of SH*T I give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH*T, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SH*T you can handle. Sincerely, President Obama PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
__________________  In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they don't have a real enemy, they'll invent one in order to mobilize us.  |
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#2
08-07-2009, 04:21 PM
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__________________ Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both. Benjamin Franklin |
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#3
08-07-2009, 04:33 PM
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| That would be even more funny if it were not so true.
__________________ By faith Noah,being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear,prepared an ark to the saving of his house;by the which he condemned the world,and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith Heb.11:7 |
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