Best Worst First Date Ever

rabywk · #1 12-11-2007, 12:14 PM

Thought I would forward this on to the group........

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
you're sitting down when you read it. This is
probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates but this one takes
the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The
winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
took the prize!

She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold
... and the guy had taken her skiing in the
mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah. It was a day
trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all,
and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
they were headed home late that afternoon. They were
driving back down the mountain, when she gradually
began to realize that she shouldn't have had that
extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a
rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow
going, there came a point where she told him that he
had better stop and let her go beside the road, or
it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped
and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
her pants down and started. In the deep snow she
didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching
for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and
refrained from peeking. All she could think about
was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing
however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady
discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against
the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to
disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was
quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem
due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor
of the moment, she answered her date's concerns
about 'what is taking so long' with a reply that
indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need
of some assistance! He came around the car as she
tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as
she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they
finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed
her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to
free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly
realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her
first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee
her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the
Tonight Show prize hands down.
Or perhaps that should be 'pants down.'
And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment...
'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn out?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her
on the Leno show.