Dear American Liberals,Leftist,Social Progressives
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two
ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it
up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. We'll take the land and homes that we worked and paid for,
and you can keep your Section 8 apartments and ghettos (ones that our
tax dollars have already paid for - we don't want them.)
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless,
homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey
moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC
and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks
and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under
assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N..
but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name, our God and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just
hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which
one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for dinner. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin
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