Dear Conservative Mom, thank you for the post, it is always a blessing to hear from fellow believers on matters of faith. As far as the tribulation, there is much debate as you state, but there are several avenues of understanding to guide us on these issue. First place of understanding is how the book of Revelation is organized. Rev 1:19 sets the stage for the entire book:
Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;
John Wesley had some interesting interpretations of this verse which is actually the way I believe the Bible is telling us directly:
View Wesley's Notes for Revelation 1:19
1:19 Write the things which thou hast seen - This day: which accordingly are written, #Rev 1:11 |- 18. And which are - The instructions relating to the present state of the seven churches. These are written, #Rev 1:20 |- Rev 3:22. And which shall be hereafter - To the end of the world; written, #Rev 4:1|, &c.
Revelation 1:19
Rev 4:1 is a rapture verse, chapt 5 is the judgement of God's saints from the church age, chapter 6 is the start of the tribulation with the opening of the seals. The entire book is written in chronological order and it is Jesus Himself who tells us how it is ordered. You can't get any better authority than that. In accordance with this, the rapture is definitely pre-trib.
However, the beginning of sorrows will be plenty difficult to weed out those that really worship God and those that are just playing church.