How to get back at a Mugger!
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Thread: How to get back at a Mugger!

  1. #1
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    How to get back at a Mugger!

    I got this in an email and thought ya'all would enjoy it. I hope it's not true, but man, it's fitting:


    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

    Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

    Alex

    "A free people should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from anyone, including their own government. ~ G. Washington

  2.   
  3. #2
    Urban Legend. This same joke was posted here about six months ago, IIRC.

  4. #3
    Fortunately it is hoax. but does anyone think the supposed Craig's list poster is a macho hero? It sounds to me like he is just an idiot.

    Quote Originally Posted by Naybor View Post
    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket
    It was probably a Member's Only jacket

    Quote Originally Posted by Naybor View Post
    Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
    He pointed a self defense weapon at a mugger's head?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naybor View Post
    I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
    Muggers call their buddies on cell phones for backup when a person draws a self defense weapon on them? While the weapon is pointed at their head?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naybor View Post
    Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
    He took the guys wallet while pointing a gun at his head, then illegally used the guy's credit card? Who is committing the crime here?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naybor View Post
    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
    That is some imagination

    Quote Originally Posted by Naybor View Post
    Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
    As if the FBI wouldn't be able to trace the guy through Craig's list and arrest him for making threats over a means of interstate communication - a federal felony for which a dozen or more people per year get convicted. Moreover, the admission on Craig's list would be a confession.

  5. #4
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    I KNOW.......I KNOW...........

    Sheesh........I was just posting a humorous email. Didn't know it had been posted before. So hit me with a wet noodle or something!

    "A free people should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from anyone, including their own government. ~ G. Washington

  6. #5
    The humor tolerance seems to be hitting a low.

  7. #6
    Pretty stupid.

    -Doc

  8. #7
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    W/out even reading the OP i'm going to guess that this is the craigslist story about the guy that drew on the mugger, made the mugger poop his pants, took the mugger's money, wallet and cell phone, commited identity theft, vandalised a car and left the wallet at the scene and ran up a huge cell phone bill on dial-a-porn.

    And we're supposed to somehow give him a by on his various criminal acts because he's a permit holder right?

    Why does every one that posts this tripe assume they're the only one who's ever seen it?

    It's kinda like the "Rednecks mess w/ wrong guy "video

    It appears I was right. Can we have an "unlike " button?
    See, it's mumbo jumbo like that and skinny little lizards like you thinking they the last dragon that gives Kung Fu a bad name.
    http://www.gunrightsmedia.com/ Internet forum dedicated to second amendment

  9. #8
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    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier....One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

  10. #9
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    Guys, I am truly sorry I posted the joke. I thought it was funny. I'll never post another here.

    BTW, Treo, I've seen the video you posted before too. As to your "signature", flipping me or others the bird IS what have caused others to die of road rage, "viking" or not. I do find that offensive. Just a friendly reminder.

    "A free people should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from anyone, including their own government. ~ G. Washington

  11. #10
    [QUOTE=Naybor;188947]Guys, I am truly sorry I posted the joke. I thought it was funny. I'll never post another here.

    BTW, Treo, I've seen the video you posted before too. As to your "signature", flipping me or others the bird IS what have caused others to die of road rage, "viking" or not. I do find that offensive. Just a friendly reminder.[/QUOTE

    Don't fret it. The amount of people taking themselves far too seriously is growing every day. It was a funny post.

    Even funnier (or sad) are those who actually took this so seriously that they critiqued the non existent craigslist poster or criticized you for posting it. The original post was funny, the responses are funnier!

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