Insult my wife - Page 6
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Thread: Insult my wife

  1. Sure it would be great to smack that bad boy, but as carriers I think we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard. To walk and grind your teeth is the way to go. I guess it all comes down to attitude.

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  3. #52
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    It is the "scenario" threads like this that are the BACKBONE of USA Carry forum, and are perhaps the most valuable resource we have to prepare for the possibility of having to use our Carry Piece, and are a tremendus training tool IMHO.

    This type of "exercise" was pushed in my CCW and Defensive Pistol training as perhaps even more important than range time, once the basics of gun handling were learned. Playing out the scenaris and having a "plan" also does MUCH to build the confidence and ability to react under pressure.

    As well as helping make sure that the aftermath of a defensive shooting is more likely to be favorable to you.
    Win-Win in my book, and time well spent. GREAT thread.

  4. #53
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    MA, Away from the liberal loonies...
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    Quote Originally Posted by BamaBoy View Post
    "what if the perp spits on your wife?"

    As I mentioned in another post, I'm attending a seminar on CCW soon. I'll pose the "spat on my wife" scenario to the lawyers.
    Please let us know the results of that inquiry.. I know that on a baseball field that would be assault... If you did that to a LEO you would be in cuffs.. Stands to reason that if done to you and I it would be considered assault...
    You can give peace a chance alright..

    I'll seek cover in case it goes badly..

  5. #54
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    Aug 2009
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    It's a sad commentary to me, all these "what if" threads on shooting scenarios. Seems like some people just seek more justification to use their weapons in questionable situations. If there's ANY doubt whatsoever, the anser is <<N>> <<O>>. Don't do it. Don't even think about it. If you are a normal non-psychopathic person, your instincts will be correct. If you are some kind of bloodthirsty socipathic idiot they will be wrong. Seems pretty simple to me.

  6. #55
    Some people might indeed be looking for an excuse to draw their firearm, but nationwide those types, contrary to hysterical predictions from the anti-gun side, have proved to be pretty rare. I think the posters in this thread are expressing legitimate concerns. Believe me, I am looking for a way out of trouble on the street and sincerely hope I never have to draw my firearm. I can't remember any time in my 60 years in which I felt I was in mortal danger from another person. But things can happen, and as I grow older I become a more appealing target to predators. I don't want to find myself helpless in the face of danger.

    What do you do when confronted not with a deadly threat, but with extreme provocation? How does being armed affect the situation?

    As I said, I'll report what the lawyers say.

  7. #56
    Responding to the original post I would just say "whatever" and walk away. In the likelihood that you do not even know this person, who gives a rat's a$$ what some moron thinks about you or says to your wife. When you are armed you have to be the adult and not let your ego or pride get in the way. That's just the way it is. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and walk away. Think of all the legal problems associated with a mutual fight when you are armed. The legal bills, the police involvement, you possibly being arrested, or at a minimum handcuffed and disarmed while the police sort it out. "Whatever" and walk away. I believe the original poster said in a later post that he has a black belt. He then should understand the idea of controlling your opponent. This guy insults your wife and makes you angry. He has controlled your emotions. When you get mad you do not think objectively. If you respond physically, he has controlled your actions. He gets the physical confrontation he wants. You do what he wants you to do, he has controlled you. If you don't show anger, and show indifference, you are showing him his words have no power. You don't get physical and you have controlled his actions by not allowing him to respond physically. You have controlled the situation now walk away. If he pursues you as you try to retreat then he is taking this to another level and your legal options change. Still, if you choose to carry a gun sometimes you have to go against what your ego tells you to do. To quote Massad Ayoob in The Gun Digest of Concealed Carry
    Under the "higher standard of care" principle, the armed private citizen is seen as having a particular duty to avoid conflicts
    - shouting matches, upraised middle fingers, curses
    - and is expected to de-escalate rather than "keep the ball rolling." Let alone offering provocation.
    If you want or feel the need to start a fight with everyone that looks at you or your wife sideways then I suggest not to carry a gun in the first place.
    The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose. - Frederick Douglass

  8. #57
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    Jul 2009
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    Some of the posts have equated spitting in one's face as assault and possible cause for disease---I agree. You will be sorely mistaken, however, if you equate that kind of assault to an assault that puts you in fear of your life (even with the disease posssibility) and use of your CCW. If you disagree on this you do scare me a bit, even though my private thoughts to myself would want to teach this guy a real lesson that he will never forget.

  9. #58
    kelcarry, so far I haven't heard anyone claim that spitting is ipso facto justification for the use of deadly force. I'm sure the lawyers at the seminar are going to agree with you on that point.

    The question involves whether and how you should respond to extreme—but not deadly— provocation if you are armed. Should you still simply walk away to avoid any possibility of escalation that might reach the point where you have to draw your gun? If you confront the spitter the same way you would if you were unarmed, and then the situation gets out of control, will a court say that you should have walked away even when the spitter remained the aggressor?

    I suspect that the lawyers will say that if somebody spits on you (or your wife) while you are armed, get out of there as fast as possible and call the police. You'll more likely than not regret it if you stick around to defend your honor.

    Too bad. I sometimes wish I lived in another age.

    A postscript about spitting: a couple of years ago a car full of young punks pulled dangerously and recklessly around my son's car, which was about to exit a mall onto U.S. 1 in Lawrence, New Jersey. My son (age 22) opened his window and asked what they thought they were doing, and the driver leaned over and spat out the passenger window. The spittle hit my son, and the punks took off, tires squealing.

    My son got the license number. luckily found a cop quickly, and reported the incident. The police managed to find the punks and stop their car just as the driver was pulling onto his street a few miles away. After a brief denial, the punk admitted to the cop that he spat, but claimed he didn't mean to hit anyone with the spittle. No arrest, since the officer had not witnessed the spitting.

    The cop contacted my son the next day and told him that he could file a complaint for harassment (not assault). I accompanied him down to the station to pick up the police report, but after talking to a lawyer friend of mine, we decided to let it go. My friend told us that in court my son would have to identify the person who spat across the passenger in the dark. My son admitted that such identification would be difficult. The lawyer also told us that all the punks would testify that my son started the trouble and in fact spat at them first, etc., etc. He also reminded us that if the case went to court, the punks would learn my son's identity and address. Further, he said that the harassment charge would be knocked down to disorderly or something anyway, so there was really no point in pursuing the matter. He said something like, "You'll be causing more trouble for yourself than for the other guy. But, sooner or later, bums like that spit on the wrong person and pay the price."

    Sorry for the long post, but it shows how the courts, at least in the Soprano State, consider spitting a lot less important than does the person spat upon.

  10. #59
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    Hey Hawkeye638: I think your last post said everything that has to be said. IMO it was right on t arget.As they say with Hebrew National hotdogs---"you answer to a higher authority" when you are CC. You may not like it when confronted by some idiot for any reason but common sense and calmness can "win the day" regardless of what the idiot has done---presenting your CCW almost always just escalates the situation. I think that any of us will DEFINITELY KNOW FEAR FOR OUR LIFE, if it faces us--any "what iffing" on that is indication that it is not a situation that calls for use of a CCW. If nothing else, these posts, as much as they may repeat comments, are still a great way to discuss all aspects of these very serious situations for all of us who may CC and I appreciate everyone's comments, whether I agree or disagree---thanks guys (and gals).

  11. #60
    I have a question for those talking about spitting. This actually happened in the military so it's relevancy here is minimal. A friend of mine, Clem, was talking to a guy in a car and the guy got upset and spit on Clem. Without hesitation Clem pulled the guy halfway out the window and punched him. When brought in front of the Commander, he was asked if he hesitated and Clem told him that he did not. He was let off with no disciplinary action because he did not hesitate. He reaction was reflexive and not thought through. Does this theory apply in the civilian world? One more point. I guess you can say Clem was open carrying in sorts because he was on duty as an MP at the time and he had just given the guy in the car a ticket.
    The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose. - Frederick Douglass

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