wifes views are changing, need help!
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Thread: wifes views are changing, need help!

  1. wifes views are changing, need help!

    I made the decision a couple months back to get my chl and start packing after not owning a handgun for the past 5 or so years. My reasons are the same as everyone else's, be prepared, we live in a dangerous world ect and my wife never voiced a concern until last night. A few years back before we started dating I flew into Vegas to visit. I got picked up from the airport and driven to her house where her friends had been drinking all night. One friend in particular was a complete nut job, apparently his brother and mother died within the past 2 years and he went off the deep end. Anyway I guess he was a racist because I asked if he was Indian and I looked down and he pulled a knife on me! I guess he was in fact Indian but like I said TOTAL nut job. I defused the situation by getting out of strike range and they calmed him down.

    The million dollar question now comes up, if I was packing would I have ended up shooting him? I told my wife I would have done the same thing in that situation but it still seems to make her nervous. I've gone my whole life beating situations like this and keeping myself out of trouble. I'm not a "black out" or "see red" type of person I'm very conscious of what's going on. Because of that I've always been able to fight very well and I'm a very big guy so I've rarely been messed with but even when I am I walk away. How do I make my wife feel comfortable about this? I tried telling her that its strictly for one of those situations we've never been in but could happen any time. What if a car load of men attack us or a robbery or a rapist or whatever other sick type of people there are. I can and will defend myself without a second thought, but I'm also able to defuse situations and keep my head on my shoulders. I'm assuming most other gun fanatics on here are in the same boat with the same mentality I have, otherwise we would all be in jail! Any wife advice would be very much appreciated

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Sandpoint, Idaho
    Here's some advice: don't piss off the natives. For some reason they're still upset about that whole "reservation" thing.

    But really, it sounds like you're level-headed. The best thing to do is keep doing what you're doing. Your wife will see you can handle yourself properly. I was nervous as hell when my husband started carrying, especially OC. But every time we had another uneventful day, I felt more comfortable with it. Don't make a big deal out of it, and it won't be.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Georgia, just south of Atlanta
    Take her to FrontSight or other good training course...worked with my wife!

  5. I've actually found that I'm calmer when I have my firearm with me than I am without it. It is a very large responsibility and it does make you a lot more cautious and situations you wouldn't otherwise give a lot of thought to. I have my CHL and my husband does not (due to my job) however he insists that I have it on me when he and I go out together. As he puts it, he's only one guy and bad guys tend not to be alone or unarmed because they're all chickenshits trying make themselves look like more than they are.

  6. Yeah I've already signed us up for the next class. That's about the best advice I think I can get and just give it time. I'm sure the more time goes on without incident the more comfortable she will feel

  7. #6
    I agree with magmoore, I'm more reserved when I'm packing. I have been in a situation where if I hadn't have had my gun, I would have been more vocal or agressive with how I was treated, but since I have a gun, I realize the responsibility and avoid it altogether. It puts me into a more relaxed state and I feel more safe and it makes me feel good knowing that I can protect my wife and kids no matter what happens in most cases. It did take some getting use to at first because you feel like everybody can see your gun, but you get used to it. Now, I feel naked if I didn't have a gun. I wish one of those guys in that IHop would have had a gun, maybe they would be here today.

  8. I'm from Washington state and some years back there was a kid with an assault rifle that was walking through the tacoma mall shooting at everything that moved, during the attack he held up and took hostages and people started calling the news. One lady was saying that herself and her husband saw the kid and her husband pulled out his handgun as they ran to get away but he never fired. That got me to thinking, being a mall close to an army and air force base, how many people that day were packing? It amazed me that not 1 person fired back at him. I know the goal is to get away safely, but so many lives were ruined and taken that day. It still bothers me today just thinking about it

  9. #8

    Get her involved if possible

    I have owned some type of gun my entire life. I worked armed security for yrs but I know alot of women are still not comfortable around our with guns. I would try to get her involved in some way. There are some really good DVDs for women and self defense, take her to the gun range of shes open to it. Gun makers are doing a great job with the pink & purple guns made especially for women. Find some blogs abt how women have been able to protect themselves. Find what ever it is that you think she would be open to. Find women she could talk to abt it. If she learns more abt the self defense part, I think she would be more comfortable. There is so much put there now in the way of information....good luck!

  10. #9
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Flagstaff, AZ
    My wife usually has some comment to make when I put my pistol on when we go to town but she's getting used to it. She also has some very unkind things to say about pink pistols, doen't think women should have them and should learn to carry regular blued ones. She worked at the local prison for awhile and qualified expert on every gun they had.

  11. #10
    I have asked myself often. Why would any woman want to carry a pink gun??

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