We must regulate umbrellas! NOW!
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Thread: We must regulate umbrellas! NOW!

  1. #1

    We must regulate umbrellas! NOW!

    NYPD makes arrest in case of cabbie killed by umbrella poke to the eye* - NY Daily News

    We can learn several things from that one. First, there should be laws that make it illegal to posses an umbrella over 18 inches long when fully extended before the canopy is opened, or that opens with the assistance of a spring. Umbrellas with points at the top should be illegal, only blunt tops allowed. Umbrellas should be carried fully concealed - only after passing a background check and obtaining an umbrella permit, though. And if you do decide to give up your element of surprise and open carry an umbrella - make sure that you have umbrella retention training and at least two methods of retention - a wrist strap and a lanyard to your belt/belt loop are highly recommended. And it should be illegal to possess any umbrella that has ever affected or moved in interstate commerce within 1000' of a school unless it is in a locked case that prevents both opening and extending the umbrella.
    Anyone who says, "I support the 2nd amendment, BUT"... doesn't. Element of Surprise: a mythical element that many believe has the same affect upon criminals that Kryptonite has upon Superman.

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  3. #2
    Americans Against Umberlla Violence. AAUV..... aauv.org I'm getting rights to the domain name for sure.

  4. #3
    I see no need to stop there. We need to get a lawsuit started against Disney for making that Marry Poppins movie. The manufacturer and the seller of the umbrella should also be held responsible.

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul_of_TX View Post
    I see no need to stop there. We need to get a lawsuit started against Disney for making that Marry Poppins movie. The manufacturer and the seller of the umbrella should also be held responsible.
    Have to sue Ian Flemming and the cast, crew, and writers for The Avengers. Patrick McNee was always using an umbrella. And Thames TV.
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    "Cops charged Shamel Allen, 28, of Brownsville, with manslaughter and criminal possession of a weapon after at least one witness picked him out of a police lineup, cop sources said."

    Criminal possession of a weapon?! A friggin umbrella?!?!
    Give me a friggin break here!



    Sent from behind enemy lines.

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    An umbrella is a device not intended to cause bodily injury/death, even though it can be used as this type of device. It is therefore more dangerous than, for example, a gun or knife, which are designed specifically for those purposes. Therefore, there should be a thorough background check before a permit to carry one is issued, coupled with adequate training ( I think a two week course, eight hours a day would be essentially adequate). issuance of a permit to carry an umbrella could be either on a state or federal level; one who seldom leaves their residence state would obtain one through the state offices, and one who travels into many states would obtain the permit through federal offices. And carrying an umbrella would require strong supervision; supervisors would, of course, require additional training. Manufacture and sale of these devices would need an entire design and inspection system, with strong government control of both manufacture and sale. I believe we're talking about an entire new industry here, and we can get in on the ground floor!
    TANSTAAFL

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    AAR - Americans Against Rain
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    Quote Originally Posted by jameshd View Post
    An umbrella is a device not intended to cause bodily injury/death, even though it can be used as this type of device. It is therefore more dangerous than, for example, a gun or knife, which are designed specifically for those purposes. Therefore, there should be a thorough background check before a permit to carry one is issued, coupled with adequate training ( I think a two week course, eight hours a day would be essentially adequate). issuance of a permit to carry an umbrella could be either on a state or federal level; one who seldom leaves their residence state would obtain one through the state offices, and one who travels into many states would obtain the permit through federal offices. And carrying an umbrella would require strong supervision; supervisors would, of course, require additional training. Manufacture and sale of these devices would need an entire design and inspection system, with strong government control of both manufacture and sale. I believe we're talking about an entire new industry here, and we can get in on the ground floor!
    I already have one from the state of Florida. Our Concealed Weapons License doesn't just cover a firearm.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BC1 View Post
    AAR - Americans Against Rain
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    MAU-Mothers Against Umbrellas

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