Question about when it is considered appropriate to defend myself and to what degree. - Page 5
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Thread: Question about when it is considered appropriate to defend myself and to what degree.

  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by maybejim View Post
    That's a tough one. Where do you draw the line? It's different with a guy. An inappropriate touch gets a fist or a shoe.
    A fist or shoe? I'm a little confused...are you referring to when guys touch each other inappropriately? I didn't realize that happened often
    I'm secure enough in my self-esteem that I know I cannot handle a 150-pound guy coming at me, but I can handle a firearm to keep that man away from me. -- Maria Heil

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by maybejim View Post
    That's a tough one. Where do you draw the line? It's different with a guy. An inappropriate touch gets a fist or a shoe.
    Where do we draw the line? The line is drawn at, "No!" The law generally recognizes that "No" really does mean "No." Not maybe, not later, but "No." A fist or a shoe from a woman doesn't necessarily prevent further contact, further inappropriate touching. Actually, sometimes when women fight back, the criminal can become more enraged, escalating the situation into a struggle and then into criminal sexual assault rather quickly. So, the line is drawn at "No."

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by GabbyDP View Post
    A fist or shoe? I'm a little confused...are you referring to when guys touch each other inappropriately? I didn't realize that happened often
    I don't know that it happens often, I've only had it happen once in my life. And not too often would a guy object to a little "inappropriate" touching by a gal.
    Maybejim

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  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by gdcleanfun View Post
    Where do we draw the line? The line is drawn at, "No!" The law generally recognizes that "No" really does mean "No." Not maybe, not later, but "No." A fist or a shoe from a woman doesn't necessarily prevent further contact, further inappropriate touching. Actually, sometimes when women fight back, the criminal can become more enraged, escalating the situation into a struggle and then into criminal sexual assault rather quickly. So, the line is drawn at "No."
    It's wonderful to have other females on the forum Not that you males are doing a bad job! I think perspective is very relevant for this discussion though. But, you guys can offer a perspective that we as women cannot! For example, is "no" the best preventative measure? It's hard to compare I'm sure, because I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that everyone here is very respectful and wouldn't put a woman in that position to be begin with, but from what you know from hearing of situations, what is the best way that she could handle the situation? Gdcleanfun (are you a Gabby also? I thought you mentioned something about that one time ) I absolutely agree that fighting back is not always the best option, especially if you're outnumbered. Well, this is how I've viewed it at least..I would prefer to be kind of passive in the situation knowing that I'm out numbered as opposed to being really strong willed and risk the chance of it becoming a physical battle. I don't mean passive passive, but if its a matter of kind of going with the situation I'd prefer that to being held down, etc. Is "no" the best option though, make it very clear and direct, even if you're outnumbered?
    I'm secure enough in my self-esteem that I know I cannot handle a 150-pound guy coming at me, but I can handle a firearm to keep that man away from me. -- Maria Heil

  6. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by maybejim View Post
    I don't know that it happens often, I've only had it happen once in my life. And not too often would a guy object to a little "inappropriate" touching by a gal.
    This is very true..which is where it becomes difficult, it's a very different situation
    I'm secure enough in my self-esteem that I know I cannot handle a 150-pound guy coming at me, but I can handle a firearm to keep that man away from me. -- Maria Heil

  7. Question

    This reminds me of a former Chicago police detective, J.J. Bittenbinder, who used to have a TV show telling people how to avoid becoming a crime victim. It has to be remembered that Chicago and the state of Illinois, are about as anti-gun as anyone can be, it is easy to see why he advocated only non-violent (read non-gun)methods. He did stress over and over again not to let the bad guy(s) take you to a secndary crime scene, as you would certainly be killed. In some states, there is no problem with this, because they do not require you to retreat. If you fear for your life, draw and put two in the x-ring as fast as you can. Some states require you to retreat until your path of retreat is blocked, I prefer the no retreat, as I am disabled and can neither fight nor run. I can shoot quite well, and I don't need my legs for that. I have seen that you do not want to say stupid things like, "you're standing where I'm fixing to shoot," or other equally dumb things. It seems there is always some witness around whowill hear you say that, and the jury in the wrongful death suit will hear it and thnk you are a loose cannon on deck, looking for a chance to waste someone. Things to remember:
    1. Fear for your life, If you can articulate that you feared you woud be killed or seriously injured.
    2. You used your weapon to stop the bad guy, Never say you shot to kill or wound, You shot to stop.
    3.Remorse, You regret that the bad guy put you in the position of having to use deadly force.
    4.Equipment, Avoid names like Blaster, Devastator and such. Keep as much as possible within reason. Juries look askance on wildly reworked weapons, as they perceive the modifications are there to make it more deadly.

    Basically, when you may use deadly force depends on your assessment that your life is in danger, under the definnitions in your state. In a very few states, such as Illinois and Michigan, you must trust your safety to the vagaries of the nearness of the police. The rest of us will keep seeking a change in your state laws, while we pray for your safety.
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  8. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by GabbyDP View Post
    It's wonderful to have other females on the forum Not that you males are doing a bad job! I think perspective is very relevant for this discussion though. But, you guys can offer a perspective that we as women cannot! For example, is "no" the best preventative measure? It's hard to compare I'm sure, because I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that everyone here is very respectful and wouldn't put a woman in that position to be begin with, but from what you know from hearing of situations, what is the best way that she could handle the situation? Gdcleanfun (are you a Gabby also? I thought you mentioned something about that one time ) I absolutely agree that fighting back is not always the best option, especially if you're outnumbered. Well, this is how I've viewed it at least..I would prefer to be kind of passive in the situation knowing that I'm out numbered as opposed to being really strong willed and risk the chance of it becoming a physical battle. I don't mean passive passive, but if its a matter of kind of going with the situation I'd prefer that to being held down, etc. Is "no" the best option though, make it very clear and direct, even if you're outnumbered?
    This is from me in my Mom mode: "No" is the best option whether you are outnumbered or not, or man or woman! It may not make a difference to the perps, yet, what better way to get your message across if/when you have to go to court that you meant "No" and not "Yes!" The best preventive measure, if at all possible, is never to put yourself in a "white zone" position. Check out the colored levels of awareness zones here. My CCW instructor taught me about this and it's been discussed elsewhere in this forum.

    What say you fellows?

    Did you say that U R going to college? Care 2 tell us where and what's UR major?

    Yes, I'm a Gabby on another website, tho it's not my real name.
    Last edited by gdcleanfun; 01-28-2009 at 10:19 AM.

  9. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by gdcleanfun View Post
    This is from me in my Mom mode: "No" is the best option whether you are outnumbered or not, or man or woman! It may not make a difference to the perps, yet, what better way to get your message across if/when you have to go to court that you meant "No" and not "Yes!" The best preventive measure, if at all possible, is never to put yourself in a "white zone" position. Check out the colored levels of awareness zones here. My CCW instructor taught me about this and it's been discussed elsewhere in this forum.

    What say you fellows?

    Did you say that U R going to college? Care 2 tell us where and what's UR major?

    Yes, I'm a Gabby on another website, tho it's not my real name.
    Ok, "no" is very easy to follow I am going to college Florida Atlantic, in Boca Raton. And I applied to study under Criminal Justice, but that may change, it sounds like everyone changes their major after the first year, regardless of what they've chosen
    I'm secure enough in my self-esteem that I know I cannot handle a 150-pound guy coming at me, but I can handle a firearm to keep that man away from me. -- Maria Heil

  10. #49
    wolfhunter Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by gdcleanfun View Post
    This is from me in my Mom mode: "No" is the best option whether you are outnumbered or not, or man or woman! It may not make a difference to the perps, yet, what better way to get your message across if/when you have to go to court that you meant "No" and not "Yes!" The best preventive measure, if at all possible, is never to put yourself in a "white zone" position. Check out the colored levels of awareness zones here. My CCW instructor taught me about this and it's been discussed elsewhere in this forum.

    What say you fellows?
    OK, No means No. Yes means Yes. Nice, clearly defined answers. Use them. Other negative responses may not be taken as cut and dry, no nonsense answers.

    Remember that the average female gives up height, weight, mass, and strength in a confrontation with the average male. In addition, they tend to be less likely to escalate to the use of force. When you are not prepared to off-set these differences, you risk being the victim.

  11. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfhunter View Post
    OK, No means No. Yes means Yes. Nice, clearly defined answers. Use them. Other negative responses may not be taken as cut and dry, no nonsense answers.

    Remember that the average female gives up height, weight, mass, and strength in a confrontation with the average male. In addition, they tend to be less likely to escalate to the use of force. When you are not prepared to off-set these differences, you risk being the victim.
    So "no" or is the best option, understood

    Can you explain the last part? I'm a little bit confused about who is less likely to escalate to the use of force
    I'm secure enough in my self-esteem that I know I cannot handle a 150-pound guy coming at me, but I can handle a firearm to keep that man away from me. -- Maria Heil

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