You Might be a Gun Nut / humor - Page 2
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Thread: You Might be a Gun Nut / humor

  1. #11
    Does having pictures of your guns on a pda count the same as having them in your wallet?

  3. #12
    wolfhunter Guest
    Gun photos on my PDA also.
    Reciprocity map, list of states, and 5 Point Checklist on there, too.

  4. Quote Originally Posted by OldOwl View Post
    I did a search and didn't find it, so thought id post it for a little fun.


    -If You've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on a date...
    -If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
    -If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
    -Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...
    -If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...
    -If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........
    -If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...
    -If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it
    -If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...
    -If your computer passwords are gun related...
    -If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............
    -If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...
    -If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...
    -If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...
    -If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...
    -If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...
    -If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...
    -If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...
    -If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...
    -If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...
    -If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...
    -If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...
    -If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...
    -If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...
    -If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...
    -If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.
    -If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...
    -If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...
    -If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...
    -If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...
    -If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...
    -If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...
    -if you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...
    -If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...
    -If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...
    -If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...
    -If you driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."
    -If your shoulder is callused...
    -If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up.
    -If you get misty eyed evey time you sell a gun..
    -If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way..........
    -If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...
    -If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload...
    -RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............
    -if you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW
    -if someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about charlton heston
    -if you know the model numbers of your glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is.
    -if you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone
    -if you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"
    -if you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before
    -if you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.
    -if you hold a firearms related record in Guiness book of world records.
    -if you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)
    -if you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenerio" is
    -if you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid
    -if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"
    -if you buy all of your clothes at wal-mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man
    -if your name is on California's AW ban
    -if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.
    -if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.
    -if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".
    -if you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed Bill Ruger.
    -if you anticipate another shooting session while you are putting your guns away at the range.
    -if you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy
    -if every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from chechnya
    -if you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books
    -if the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillary piece sitting out front
    -if you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.
    -if you carry concealed at the beach
    -if third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)
    -if you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings
    -if you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms
    -if you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.
    -if you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"
    -if you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gorey violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)
    -if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.
    -if you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger,laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt
    -if you have more firearms than friends
    -if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you
    -if Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.
    -if you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.
    -if you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.
    -if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your the dark.....on the toilet.
    -if you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up.
    -if your guns are named names usually reserved for people
    -if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it
    -if you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never crossed your mind to shoot up your school.
    -if you've read the Constitution
    -if you know the second amendment by heart
    -if you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 languages
    -if you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.
    -if you make your own reloading tools
    -if you make your own powder
    -if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can
    -if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???
    -if your CCW is a shotgun
    -if your CCW is a .50
    -if your CCW is a LAW
    - if you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner
    - if your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns
    - if your wishlist on midwayusa totals up to the price of a new car
    - if that new car would be a Bentley
    - if your already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.
    - if the guys at the local gun shop send you a christmas card
    - if you own a guns you haven't shot yet
    - if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns
    - if when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.
    - if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy
    -if you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it.
    -if you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.
    -if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.
    -if the glock talk logo is burned into your computer monitor.
    -if you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection
    -if you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.
    -if someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").
    -if you took an ink blot test, and your answers were things like "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from ruger 10-22", "firing pin from M1911", etc.
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    -if you have ever shot a hole in something by accident
    -if that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate
    -if you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it
    -if the gun show owners let you in free.
    -if you named a dog after a gun.
    -if you name your kids after your guns.
    -if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms, and you're down to a minute flat.
    -if NICS put your favorite gun dealer on call block.
    -if you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.
    -if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related
    -if the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related
    -if you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe
    -if CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.
    -if you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet
    -if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.
    -if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."

  5. #14

    You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from John McCain that the staff at the mental facility, treating Hinckley , reports to have intercepted this past weekend:

    To: John Hinckley

    From: John McCain

    My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a non partisan consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.

    My wife Cindy and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

    Best Wishes,

    John and Cindy McCain

    PS: While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. Just thought you should know.

    You can run... but you'll just die tired. 3%

  6. #15
    How Pilots should Talk - Audio Only | Guns Lot <- LINK

    Aaudio only. "How pilots should talk."
    You can run... but you'll just die tired. 3%

  7. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by OldOwl View Post
    How Pilots should Talk - Audio Only | Guns Lot <- LINK

    Aaudio only. "How pilots should talk."
    The world would be a lot different if certain pilots had followed those instructions. My wife's cousin was a pilot for Delta and he told me that before 9/11 he always carried a gun in his flight bag. Sadly after that the rules got too strict even on pilots to sneak one by.

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