Best Home Security System (Funny)
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Thread: Best Home Security System (Funny)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon
    Posts
    637

    Talking Best Home Security System (Funny)

    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY ALARM

    1. Go to the Goodwill Store and buy a pair of men's work boots, size 14-16 (well used).

    2. Place them on the front porch along with a copy of Gun and Ammo magazine.

    3. Put a couple of BIG dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba!
    Big Jim, Duke, Slim and Me gone for more ammo. We'll get back in about 1 hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls--they got after the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all the dogs in the house.

    Better just wait outside til we get back.

    -Billy Bob
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they don't have a real enemy, they'll invent one in order to mobilize us.

  2.   
  3. #2
    LOL I like that, pretty funny! I'm sure that will make some people think twice, maybe do the same for the back porch and you will be set! lol
    "You must prove you feared for your life. Pee in your pants."
    -Someone on this site!

  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Cooter View Post
    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY ALARM

    1. Go to the Goodwill Store and buy a pair of men's work boots, size 14-16 (well used).

    2. Place them on the front porch along with a copy of Gun and Ammo magazine.

    3. Put a couple of BIG dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba!
    Big Jim, Duke, Slim and Me gone for more ammo. We'll get back in about 1 hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls--they got after the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all the dogs in the house.

    Better just wait outside til we get back.

    -Billy Bob

    Actually other than some of the words about blood and the ammo comment, that is just about what is in the course content of Personal Protection in the Home and Refuse To Be A Victim classes of the NRA. Item 1-3 is almost right out of the book. (the note is a nice touch though)
    NRA Certified Instructor, Vietnam Veteran
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  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Round Mountain, NV
    Posts
    120
    I already have an old pair of my size 17 work boots sitting by my front door. Now I just need a magazine, dog dishes and a note and I'm set.
    "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms."--Thomas Jefferson

  6. #5
    that's pretty good. I'd like to see that tested in a house where no one lives just to see what would happen.
    You can have my freedom as soon as I'm done with it!!!

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Roanoke, Virginia
    Posts
    4

    Home defense

    I knew a guy in Ft Lauderdale (early 70's) who lived in a neighborhood where they were experiencing home invasions. Rather than purchase the burgular alarms he simply placed a note on his front door stating:
    "Sweetheart,
    DON"T GO IN THE HOUSE!! The terrarium fell over and the rattlesnakes are loose! I've gone for help, be right back.
    John"

    It must have worked because the whole time I knew him his house was never burgularized.

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