Rules for kicking ass
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Thread: Rules for kicking ass

  1. #1
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    Rules for kicking ass

    Rules for Kickin' Ass for the Non-Military


    Make sure you read #13


    Dear Civilians:

    We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

    1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem -- kick their ass.

    2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest -- kick their ass.

    3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

    4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, or telling Others that you used to be 'Special Forces.' Collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay when you were seven years old, now it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

    5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

    6. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard 'non-military,' inform them of their mistake -- and kick their ass.

    7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) marches by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her. Of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking..

    9. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me -- stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!

    10. "Flyboy" (*Air Force*), "Jarhead" (*Marines*), "Grunt" (*Army*), "Squid" (*Navy*), "Puddle Jumpers" (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

    11. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our Country would get it's ass kicked.

    12. It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.

    It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

    It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.


    It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

    AND ONE MORE:

    13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish -- KICK THEIR ASS.

    ONE LAST THING:

    If you got this email and didn't pass it on -- guess what? You deserve to get your ass kicked!

    I sent this to you, not because I didn't want to get my ass kicked, BUT BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY, VERY SPECIAL TO ME, I KNOW YOU WILL NOT BE OFFENDED AND ARE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN, AND WILL FORWARD THIS ALSO.
    "Don't let the door hit ya where the dawg shudda bit ya!"
    G'day and Glock
    GATEWAY SWIFT WING ST. LOUIS

  2.   
  3. #2
    God forbid that someone who does not speak a language expresses their allegiance to the nation!

    Sorry, but as a veteran I find that assinine.

  4. #3
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker's Mom View Post
    4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, or telling Others that you used to be 'Special Forces.' Collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay when you were seven years old, now it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
    HAH! If only more people payed attention to this one. (Just like the sports corollary: If you do not currently play on an organized sports team, do not wear a sports uniform, not even just the jersey.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker's Mom View Post
    5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
    Except all of my Air Force friends do! (And a couple Army friends, for that matter.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker's Mom View Post
    9. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me -- stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!
    My grandmother *DID* wear combat boots. Apparently nobody ever used that insult against my dad - he had the perfect response ready "Yeah, she did. As a drill instructor in the Marine Corps during the War. What did yours do?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker's Mom View Post
    13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish -- KICK THEIR ASS.
    I agree with the letter of the statement, "The Star Spangled Banner" is in English, it should be sung in the language it was written. I've never heard anyone even ATTEMPT to sing it in Spanish, so it seems pointless. And I most certainly disagree with the implication that those who do not speak English are somehow "less American". We are the melting pot. Until WW1, there were large parts of this country where German was not just common, but the SOLE language. My wife's family is from such a part of Nebraska. In some parts, city/county records are all in German up through about 1930! (And, heck, if we had gone to war solely with Italy and/or with France instead of Germany, odds are those parts would *STILL* be predominantly German-speaking...)

  5. I never served (medically disqualified) but I wear ripstop green non camo bdu pants and a big badass desert camo bdu jacket. Its the most rugged, warm, and comfortable articles of clothing I own. I had one guy "thank me for my service". I told him I never served but would gladly pass it on. He didn't kick my ass.

  6. #5
    GO NAVY!! U.S.S. John F. Kennedy CV-67 , '80-'84.
    The nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten
    VFW Life Member
    NRA Member

  7. I've always wanted to join the army but refused to shave my beard. I'd never be caught dead dressed like a soldier but I think my willingness ( minus the whole beard thing ) should keep me from getting my ass kicked on that make believe day my clothes got wet and I was forced to wear an army shirt or something

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Cotillion View Post
    I've always wanted to join the army but refused to shave my beard. I'd never be caught dead dressed like a soldier but I think my willingness ( minus the whole beard thing ) should keep me from getting my ass kicked on that make believe day my clothes got wet and I was forced to wear an army shirt or something
    You should get your ass kicked just for the stupid things you say here!.

    Just kidding. I just thought I would beat someone else in saying it. :):)

    When I went to boot camp, the barber asked me if I wanted to keep my long sideburns. Hell yes says me. Then he told me to hold out my hand.

    Elated and struck down in an instant. :(

    KK

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Keykutter:250863
    Quote Originally Posted by Cotillion View Post
    I've always wanted to join the army but refused to shave my beard. I'd never be caught dead dressed like a soldier but I think my willingness ( minus the whole beard thing ) should keep me from getting my ass kicked on that make believe day my clothes got wet and I was forced to wear an army shirt or something
    You should get your ass kicked just for the stupid things you say here!.

    Just kidding. I just thought I would beat someone else in saying it. :):)

    When I went to boot camp, the barber asked me if I wanted to keep my long sideburns. Hell yes says me. Then he told me to hold out my hand.

    Elated and struck down in an instant. :(

    KK
    I was made this way KK by the members of this forum. I frequent other forums and I never say jerk things or argue so poo on you.

    P.s even to this day ( 29 ) I'd love to join, but I look like a fat perv without my sexy man beard

  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharonPDX View Post
    My grandmother *DID* wear combat boots. Apparently nobody ever used that insult against my dad - he had the perfect response ready "Yeah, she did. As a drill instructor in the Marine Corps during the War. What did yours do?"
    I like that...it is a nice quick comeback.


    Quote Originally Posted by CharonPDX
    I agree with the letter of the statement, "The Star Spangled Banner" is in English, it should be sung in the language it was written. I've never heard anyone even ATTEMPT to sing it in Spanish, so it seems pointless.
    Never did I, but I just copied this here as I was sent it...Don't blame me. <g>

    Quote Originally Posted by CharonPDX
    And I most certainly disagree with the implication that those who do not speak English are somehow "less American". We are the melting pot. Until WW1, there were large parts of this country where German was not just common, but the SOLE language. My wife's family is from such a part of Nebraska. In some parts, city/county records are all in German up through about 1930! (And, heck, if we had gone to war solely with Italy and/or with France instead of Germany, odds are those parts would *STILL* be predominantly German-speaking...)
    I certainly agree with you and anyone on this one. But I am still on the thinking that immigrants should learn English as a second language and not impose their language in THIS English-speaking country. When we were in Europe, we met a German on our way to Paris and he spoke perfect English. He said it was a requirement for them to be able to speak English because it is the language of the world and that way they can be anywhere (but in Paris...mockingly spoken...)in the world and they can be understood.

    My husband's parentage came direct from Germany and settled in Kansas. Throughout their farming careers, they have had German prisoners assigned to help them in their farm. It was the rule of their household to speak English, so hubby grew up speaking and understanding a spattering of German. I was the other way -- I grew up raised by Spanish born and raised/speaking 1st generation Spaniards. But because when we went to school our curriculum was modeled after the Americans, we were "ordered" to speak English from then on. I am still learning how to "speak" American English after many years of living here.
    "Don't let the door hit ya where the dawg shudda bit ya!"
    G'day and Glock
    GATEWAY SWIFT WING ST. LOUIS

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cotillion View Post
    I've always wanted to join the army but refused to shave my beard. I'd never be caught dead dressed like a soldier but I think my willingness ( minus the whole beard thing ) should keep me from getting my ass kicked on that make believe day my clothes got wet and I was forced to wear an army shirt or something
    Here's the truth, as I see it, from that: "I was unwilling or afraid to join and I use my beard as the excuse". Are you THAT into your looks or are you afraid of joining?
    1)"When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty." -Thomas Jefferson.
    2)"Imagine how gun control might be stomped if GOA or SAF had the (compromising) NRA's 4 million members!" -Me. http://jpfo.org/filegen-n-z/nraletter.htm

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