How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A Presidents?
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Thread: How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A Presidents?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Minnesota
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    1,429

    How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A Presidents?

    WARNING. THIS IS FROM THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH. IF YOU ARE A CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN ZEALOT YOU WILL NOT FIND ANY HUMOR IN THIS. PLEASE PASS IT UP. WARNING

    Dear Pastor,

    The other day after family prayerings in our living room, Pa turned on the TV as usual and we started in on watching the Mr. Hannity's Show. Mr. Hannity was talking about our Lord Jesus as usuals and then brought him up a picture of the gang city rapper he called, "Obama." Pa turned as red as an Injun's butt and threw the Bible right in the TV! He turn it off and says we needed to pray again. "Why Pa? Why?" I says. And Pa turns up in me any says, "That THING is going to be the Presidents of these here United States!" So Pastor, How comes the Obama Gets to be a Presidents?

    Johnny Eastfall
    Age 27
    Landover Baptist Rural Institute for the Continuing Education of Home Schoolers



    Dear Johnny,

    Don't feel like you are alone with this question. You are a sweet Christian child and you must know that millions of Real Americans™ are asking the same thing. And your Pa ain't alone in his anger and rage. The answer about why the Obama was electated is that we are living in the last days, Johnny. The Lord Jesus is gonna be hot-footin' back to Earth within the next four years to torture and kill everyone who doesn't love Him. Praise His Holy Name!

    Johnny, the word, "Obama" in ancient Baptist Hebrewish is pronounced, "Aboma." Your Pa knows that. Jesus warned us about "the Obama-nation" or as Republicans and Christians like us have come to call it, "the Abomination" in Matthew 24:15-16:

    "When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation (The Obama), spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place (The White House) - Then let them which be in Judaea (Washington, DC) flee into the mountains (Freehold, Iowa)."

    So my boy, you needn't worry about why sinners flippantly cast their votes and souls into the Lake of Fire. Some of those folks just did it cause they felt sorry for Negroes. The good Lord cast folks' lot in life for a reason, and your Pa is angered because he thinks them coloreds is getting uppity. God's fiendish final solution for baby-killers, ****-lovers, liberals, and everyone who doesn't belong to this church was put in play long before any of us drew our first breath. A-men?

    Johnny, you just need to sit tight. Keep praying like you do, honor your pa and keep at watching Mr. Hannity. He'll tell you what's what and what's for, just leave the rest to the Lord and trust in Jesus.

    I do think it is time you let your parents and school chums know they should keep their barn doors open for visitors. Folks will be leaving the big cities real soon, searching for a vestige of hope and faith here in Freehold, Iowa. For you see, the Obama will begin making decisions on day one about the economy, war, foreign affairs and more. These so-called, "conscious decisions" which will act as little ticking time-bombs put in place to slowly erode America's place in the world and ruin every aspect of American life as we know it today. But you are too young to understand the adult Republican mind, boy. Just keep reading the Bible, and you'll understand it all when you're old and smart enough.

    In Jesus' Name,



    Pastor Deacon Fred

    How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A President?

  2.   
  3. #2
    funny stuff - thanks for sharing.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Laurinburg NC
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    163
    The sad thing about that site is its really hard to distinguish from the "real" thing.
    For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. - Carl Sagan .When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours - Stephen Roberts

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Battle Creek Mi
    Posts
    1,853
    He may not be the Anti Christ but BHO sure is one Muslim loving Scholoist, hell bent on messing up the USA with his ideas....
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century
    "Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out!" Father John Corapi.

  6. #5
    handgonnetoter Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by theicemanmpls View Post
    WARNING. THIS IS FROM THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH. IF YOU ARE A CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN ZEALOT YOU WILL NOT FIND ANY HUMOR IN THIS. PLEASE PASS IT UP. WARNING

    Dear Pastor,

    The other day after family prayerings in our living room, Pa turned on the TV as usual and we started in on watching the Mr. Hannity's Show. Mr. Hannity was talking about our Lord Jesus as usuals and then brought him up a picture of the gang city rapper he called, "Obama." Pa turned as red as an Injun's butt and threw the Bible right in the TV! He turn it off and says we needed to pray again. "Why Pa? Why?" I says. And Pa turns up in me any says, "That THING is going to be the Presidents of these here United States!" So Pastor, How comes the Obama Gets to be a Presidents?

    Johnny Eastfall
    Age 27
    Landover Baptist Rural Institute for the Continuing Education of Home Schoolers



    Dear Johnny,

    Don't feel like you are alone with this question. You are a sweet Christian child and you must know that millions of Real Americans™ are asking the same thing. And your Pa ain't alone in his anger and rage. The answer about why the Obama was electated is that we are living in the last days, Johnny. The Lord Jesus is gonna be hot-footin' back to Earth within the next four years to torture and kill everyone who doesn't love Him. Praise His Holy Name!

    Johnny, the word, "Obama" in ancient Baptist Hebrewish is pronounced, "Aboma." Your Pa knows that. Jesus warned us about "the Obama-nation" or as Republicans and Christians like us have come to call it, "the Abomination" in Matthew 24:15-16:

    "When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation (The Obama), spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place (The White House) - Then let them which be in Judaea (Washington, DC) flee into the mountains (Freehold, Iowa)."

    So my boy, you needn't worry about why sinners flippantly cast their votes and souls into the Lake of Fire. Some of those folks just did it cause they felt sorry for Negroes. The good Lord cast folks' lot in life for a reason, and your Pa is angered because he thinks them coloreds is getting uppity. God's fiendish final solution for baby-killers, ****-lovers, liberals, and everyone who doesn't belong to this church was put in play long before any of us drew our first breath. A-men?

    Johnny, you just need to sit tight. Keep praying like you do, honor your pa and keep at watching Mr. Hannity. He'll tell you what's what and what's for, just leave the rest to the Lord and trust in Jesus.

    I do think it is time you let your parents and school chums know they should keep their barn doors open for visitors. Folks will be leaving the big cities real soon, searching for a vestige of hope and faith here in Freehold, Iowa. For you see, the Obama will begin making decisions on day one about the economy, war, foreign affairs and more. These so-called, "conscious decisions" which will act as little ticking time-bombs put in place to slowly erode America's place in the world and ruin every aspect of American life as we know it today. But you are too young to understand the adult Republican mind, boy. Just keep reading the Bible, and you'll understand it all when you're old and smart enough.

    In Jesus' Name,



    Pastor Deacon Fred

    How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A President?
    Iceman, I respect your opinion not to believe in any god or have anything to do with the Bible, but why do you go out of you way just to slam people that do? Obviously you are an Athiest, but I don't go out of my way to post things that will just tick you off. What gives? One thing is for certain, when we are dead we will know for sure who was right and who was wrong. Peace.

  7. #6
    Not bad. You get to smack Christians and homeschoolers in one shot. Your hatred seems to be boundless and creative. Why don't you come and visit our church for a week?
    Curt Lovelace
    Bible believing, gun toting pastor
    Acton, Maine

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by DocCurt View Post
    Not bad. You get to smack Christians and homeschoolers in one shot.
    And of course, there is the racist overtone, to boot. It does get tiring...and predictable...and boring. I had something else I wanted to say, but...(yawn)...I'm falling asleep...not enough intelligent discussion...(snore)...
    Prov. 27:3 - "Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both"

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    MA, Away from the liberal loonies...
    Posts
    2,658
    Being angry at the world does that to a man...



    Peace...
    You can give peace a chance alright..

    I'll seek cover in case it goes badly..

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    MA, Away from the liberal loonies...
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocCurt View Post
    Not bad. You get to smack Christians and homeschoolers in one shot. Your hatred seems to be boundless and creative. Why don't you come and visit our church for a week?
    See above post..

    Peace...
    You can give peace a chance alright..

    I'll seek cover in case it goes badly..

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Carolina USA
    Posts
    1,450
    Sometimes I just don't understand Iceman; your post on another forum seem to be so polite & respectful.

    Do you just hate the people here?
    Maybe, you know you can get away with more on this forum.

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