Are You a D, R or S?
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Are You a D, R or S?

  1. #1

    Thumbs up Are You a D, R or S?

    Just received this email. Easy decision!


    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?



    Here is a little test that will help you decide.


    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a
    Deserted street with your wife
    And two small children.

    Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
    Comes around the corner,
    Locks eyes with you,
    Screams obscenities,
    Raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?



    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:


    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
    Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
    This is all so confusing!

    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... .
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........ ......

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    BANG!
    Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

  2.   
  3. #2
    Crap... I thought I was a Southerner... but I guess Im only a "R"

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Sandpoint, Idaho
    Posts
    1,315
    Apparently, the wife of a southerner.

  5. #4
    OMG LOL....

    I'm so very much a southerner.

    Can't stop laughing...
    S&W M&P 45; Ruger GP100 .357 Magnum; Charter Arms .38 Undercover
    http://www.usacarry.com/forums/members/phillip-gain-albums-phil-s-photos-picture3828-reciprocity-map-29jun11.JPG

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Sandpoint, Idaho
    Posts
    1,315
    Quote Originally Posted by Phillip Gain View Post
    OMG LOL....

    I'm so very much a southerner.

    Can't stop laughing...
    Phillip, you are NOT displaying that thing in the living room.

  7. #6
    I thought I was just a dumb old farmer from California, but I guess I have some Southerner in me. My wife might have beat me to the draw though

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Soverign State of Poverty Knob near Tennessee
    Posts
    200
    Southerner. When asked why I only shot the guy six times I said "When I pulled the trigger the seventh time it only went CLICK."
    Let's hear it for Gun Free Zones... Public places where the criminal has a monopoly
    on self defense. - Gary Nelson 2012

  9. Southern Yankee. When we run out of ammo, we kick em!

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Cataw. Co. NC.
    Posts
    135
    After shooting him up like that theirs not going to be much left to take to the taxidermist.

  11. Quote Originally Posted by Dancamptv View Post
    Southern Yankee. When we run out of ammo, we kick em!
    Try what we call down South "Redneck CPR" instead. That's when you stomp on his chest hollering, "Git up or you'll die."

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Quantcast