Military Humor
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Thread: Military Humor

  1. #1

    Military Humor

    "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
    --------------------------------------

    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine
    Corps
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    "Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are
    guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
    ------------------------------------------------------

    "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
    -----------------------------------------------------

    "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
    encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur
    ------------------------------------------------------

    "You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S.
    Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
    ------------------------------------------------------

    "Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
    - -----------------------------------------------------

    "Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
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    "Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever
    volunteer to do anything." - U.S. Navy Swabbie
    ---------------------------------------------------

    "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David
    Hackworth
    -------------------------------------------------------

    "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." -
    Infantry Journal
    - --------------------------------------------------------

    "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
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    "Any ship can be a minesweeper .. Once." - Anonomous
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    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
    Marine Recruit
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    "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
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    "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F.
    Crickmore (test pilot)
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    "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." -
    Anonymous
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    "Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
    submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
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    "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
    power left to get you to the scene of the crash." - Anonymous
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
    - Anonymous
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    "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
    purpose of storing dead batteries." - Anonymous
    --------------------------------------------------------

    "If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
    crash as possible." - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
    --------------------------------------------------------

    "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you." -
    Anonymous
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    "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign
    over squadron oops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." -
    Anonymous
    --------------------------------------------------------

    Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go
    near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
    appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It
    is much more difficult to fly there."
    -------------------------------------------------------

    "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
    power to taxi to the terminal." - Anonymous
    ----------------------------------------------------------

    As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
    torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
    arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?".
    The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" -

    -- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
    Howard
    I carry a gun because I can't carry a cop!
    EDC Primary: M&P45fs, Crimson Trace LaserGrips, Insight XTI Procyon light in SmartCarry holster
    >>> http://MP-Pistol.com/
    EDC BUF: LCP, Crimson Trace LaserGuard in DeSantis Super Fly holster
    >>> http://LCPforum.com/

  2.   
  3. #2
    Funny, good stuff.
    By faith Noah,being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear,prepared an ark to the saving of his house;by the which he condemned the world,and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith Heb.11:7

  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by HK4U View Post
    Funny, good stuff.
    A PLAN IS NOTHING MORE THAN A POINT TO DEVIATE FROM

    --My Dad....an ol' Navy Pilot
    Victory rewards not the army that fires the most rounds, but who is the more accurate shot. ---Unknown

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon
    Posts
    637
    I found this on a Marine site.

    The reason the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines squabble among themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For example, take a simple phrase like, "Secure the building."
    • The Army will put guards around the place.
    • The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
    • The Air Force will take out a 5-year lease with an option to buy.
    • The Marines will kill everybody inside and make it a command post.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they don't have a real enemy, they'll invent one in order to mobilize us.

  6. #5
    [COLOR="Red"]You guys crack me up.COLOR]
    By faith Noah,being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear,prepared an ark to the saving of his house;by the which he condemned the world,and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith Heb.11:7

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Tampa Bay Area
    Posts
    1,854
    lol. I've heard a few of those in the past but not all of them! Funny stuff! Thanks for sharing.
    "When Government fears the people, it's liberty. When people fear the Government, it's tyranny."
    - Benjamin Franklin

  8. #7
    lol thanks for that.. I neded a good laugh.
    You can have my freedom as soon as I'm done with it!!!

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