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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    3,098

    Talking > Noah in 2008

    > In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
    > living in the United States , and said, 'Once again,
    > the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see
    > the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save
    > 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans'
    >
    > He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months
    > to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
    > 40 days and 40 nights.'
    >
    > Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping
    > in his yard- but no Ark.
    >
    > 'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the
    > rain! Where is the Ark ?'
    >
    > 'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things
    > have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been
    > arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler
    > system.
    >
    > My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
    > zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
    > the height limitations. We had to go to the Development
    > Appeal Board for a decision.
    >
    > Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be
    > posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other
    > overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark
    > 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
    > coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
    >
    > Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on
    > cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
    > tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
    > wood to save the owls - but no go!
    >
    > When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights
    > group sued me.
    >
    > They insisted that I was confining wild animals against
    > their will. They argued the accommodations were too
    > restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many
    > animals in a confined space.
    >
    > Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
    > they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your
    > proposed flood.
    >
    > I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
    > Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed
    > to hire for my building crew.
    >
    > Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card
    > status of most of the people who want to work.
    >
    > The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist
    > I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building
    > experience.
    >
    > To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,
    > claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with
    > endangered species.
    >
    > So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years
    > for me to finish this Ark. '
    >
    > Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a
    > rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder
    > and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy
    > the world?'
    >
    > 'No,' said the Lord. 'The government beat me to
    > it.'
    FESTUS
    IN OMNIA PARATUS

  2.   
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Tampa Bay Area
    Posts
    1,854
    LOL Nice! And don't get me started on Code Enforcement! Apparently they have the right to come on the property I paid for/Pay taxes for, move car covers, and fine me if they have expired tags.
    "When Government fears the people, it's liberty. When people fear the Government, it's tyranny."
    - Benjamin Franklin

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon
    Posts
    637
    Great post! I was expecting to get a punch line at the end. But instead of laughing, I just got a sad-disappointed feeling when I realised how close to the truth it was.

    One problem with the story though:
    God promised the Earth would never again be destroyed by a flood.
    Genesis 8:21 :icon_mrgreen:
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they don't have a real enemy, they'll invent one in order to mobilize us.

  5. #4
    Very funny and of course sadly right on. Government bureaucracy at its best (or worst).
    By faith Noah,being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear,prepared an ark to the saving of his house;by the which he condemned the world,and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith Heb.11:7

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