Letter from Afghanistan
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Thread: Letter from Afghanistan

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Battle Creek Mi

    Thumbs up Letter from Afghanistan

    Borrowed this from another forum N it is reputed to be from an excellent source in military, so take it anyway you may wish but it is a good story.

    Thank God for Jar-Heads
    Reconnaissance Marine in Afghanistan

    It's freezing here. I'm sitting on hard, cold dirt
    between rocks and shrubs at the base of the Hindu Kush Mountains along
    the Dar 'yoi Pomir River watching a hole that leads to a tunnel that
    leads to a cave. Stake out, my friend, and no pizza delivery for
    thousands of miles.

    I also glance at the area around my (rear) every ten to
    fifteen seconds to avoid another scorpion sting I've actually given up
    battling the chiggers and sand fleas, but them scorpions give a jolt
    like a cattle prod. Hurts like a -----.

    The antidote tastes like transmission fluid but God
    bless the Marine Corps for the five vials of it in my pack.

    The one truth the Taliban cannot escape is that, believe
    it or not, they are human beings, which means they have to eat food and
    drink water. That requires couriers and that's where an old bounty
    hunter like me comes in handy. I track the couriers, locate the tunnel
    entrances and storage facilities, type the info into the handheld, shoot
    the coordinates up to the satellite link that tells the air commanders
    where to drop the hardware, we bash some heads for a while, then I track
    and record the new movement.

    It's all about intelligence. We haven't even brought in
    the snipers yet. These scurrying rats have no idea what they're in for.
    We are but days away from cutting off supply lines and allowing the
    eradication to begin.

    I dream of bin Laden waking up to find me standing over
    him with my boot on his throat as I spit a bloody ear into his face and
    plunge my nickel plated Bowie knife through his frontal lobe. But you
    know me. I'm a romantic. I've said it before and I'll say it again: This
    country blows, man. It's not even a country. There are no roads, there's
    no infrastructure, there's no government. This is an inhospitable, rock
    pit ---- hole ruled by eleventh century warring tribes. There are no
    jobs here like we know jobs.

    Afghanistan offers two ways for a man to support his
    family: join the opium trade or join the army. That's it. Those are your
    options. Oh, I forgot, you can also live in a refugee camp and eat
    plum-sweetened, crushed beetle paste and squirt mud like a goose with
    stomach flu if that's your idea of a party. But the smell alone of those
    'tent cities of the walking dead' is enough to hurl you into the poppy
    fields to cheerfully scrape bulbs for eighteen hours a day.

    I've been living with these Tajiks and Uzbeks and
    Turkmen and even a couple of Pushtins for over a month and a half now
    and this much I can say for sure: These guys, all of 'em, are Huns.
    Actual, living Huns. They LIVE to fight. It's what they do. It's ALL
    they do.

    They have no respect for anything, not for their
    families or for each other or for themselves. They claw at one another
    as a way of life. They play polo with dead calves and force their
    five-year-old sons into human cockfights to defend the family honor.
    Huns, roaming packs of savage, heartless beasts who feed on each others
    barbarism. Cavemen with AK47's. Then again, maybe I'm just cranky.

    I'm freezing my (rear) off on this stupid hill because
    my lap warmer is running out of juice and I can't recharge it until the
    sun comes up in a few hours.

    Oh yeah! You like to write letters, right? Do me a
    favor, Bizarre. Write a letter to CNN and tell Wolf and Anderson and
    that awful, sneering, pompous Aaron Brown to stop calling the Taliban
    'smart.' They are not smart. I suggest CNN invest in a dictionary
    because the word they are looking for is 'cunning.' The Taliban are
    cunning, like jackals and hyenas and wolverines. They are sneaky and
    ruthless and, when confronted, cowardly. They are hateful, malevolent
    parasites who create nothing and destroy everything else. Smart. Pfft.
    Yeah, they're real smart.

    They've spent their entire lives reading only one book
    (and not a very good one, as books go) and consider hygiene and indoor
    plumbing to be products of the devil. They're still figuring out how to
    work a Bic lighter. Talking to a Taliban warrior about improving his
    quality of life is like trying to teach an ape how to hold a pen;
    eventually he just gets frustrated and sticks you in the eye with it.

    OK, enough. Snuffle will be up soon so I have to get
    back to my hole. Covering my tracks in the snow takes a lot of practice
    but I'm good at it. Please, I tell you and my fellow Americans to turn
    off the TV sets and move on with your lives.

    The story line you are getting from CNN and other news
    agencies is utter bull---- and designed not to deliver truth but rather
    to keep you glued to the screen through the commercials. We've got this
    one under control. The worst thing you guys can do right now is sit
    around analyzing what we're doing over here because you have no idea
    what we're doing and, really, you don't want to know. We are your
    military and we are doing what you sent us here to do.

    You wanna help? Buy Bonds America.

    Saucy Jack
    Reconnaissance Marine in Afghanistan
    Semper Fidelis

    Original message written on 7/16/08 4:58 PM, by RHG
    (Email address withheld)

  3. Interesting, but a fake. Go here...

    snopes.com: Saucy Jack Letter

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    The worst thing you guys can do right now is sit around analyzing what we're doing over here because you have no idea what we're doing and, really, you don't want to know. We are your military and we are doing what you sent us here to do.
    That doesn't make any sense. How do we know what we sent them over there to do if we don't know what they're doing?

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Does anyone even know where this came from and why they're trying to make us believe they're there? What an imbecile.

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