Teacher arrested!
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Thread: Teacher arrested!

  1. #1

    Teacher arrested!

    TEACHER ARRESTED

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

    At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country." As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If Allah had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

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  3. #2
    Good one

  4. Stealing this

  5. #4
    My son loved it (he's autistic and got it) I'm borrowing it.

  6. #5
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldgrunt View Post
    TEACHER ARRESTED

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

    At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country." As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If Allah had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
    My only question... why would he have a slide rule AND a calculator? lol
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote."
    ~ Benjamin Franklin (maybe)

  7. #6
    Well written and applied. Thanks for the laughs. RFLMAO
    I'd rather be a Conservative Nutjob. Than a Liberal with NO Nuts & NO Job

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