What we may be coming too.
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Thread: What we may be coming too.

  1. #1

    What we may be coming too.

    Year 2059
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    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059
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    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
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    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
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    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
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    Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
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    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
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    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
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    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
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    Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
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    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.
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    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
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    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
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    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
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    Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
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    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
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    Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .
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    Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
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    Massachusetts executes last remaining Conservative.
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    Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
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    A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony: They had simultaneous Headaches.
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    Average NBA player is now nine feet seven inches and has 5 illegitimate children.
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    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
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    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
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    Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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    Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or scared.
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    I Love This Country!
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    It's The Government That Scares Me!
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    Stop organized crime.
    Re-elect no one.
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    Live Simply.. Love Generously.. Care Deeply.. Speak Kindly..Leave The Rest To God.
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    NOT CONFIRMED BY SNOPES.
    I'd rather be a Conservative Nutjob. Than a Liberal with NO Nuts & NO Job

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  3. #2
    A couple of those would be improvements. We could do without California. And I think the number of illegitimate children for a NBA player was a bit low...
    Modern Whig
    "Government is not meant to burden Liberty but rather to secure it." -T.J. O'Hara

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Santa Fe Area, New Mexico
    Posts
    3,487
    Lov it.........too bad I won't be around to see it. THANK God!
    "The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." --author and philosopher Ayn Rand (1905-1982)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Battle Creek Michigan
    Posts
    1,269
    This was great, dogshawred! I stole it and it's on FB. Not sure about Caroline being president at 102 years of age, but it's definitely possible.
    Who are the militia? Are they not ourselves? Is it feared, then, that we shall turn our arms each man gainst his own bosom. Congress have no power to disarm the militia...Tenche Coxe, The Pennsylvania Gazette, Feb. 20, 1788.

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