Man Rules...
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Thread: Man Rules...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Battle Creek Mi
    Posts
    1,853

    Wink Man Rules...

    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down



    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear " the rules "
    From the female side.



    Now here are the rules from the male side.


    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!



    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)



    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
    or Hockey.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century
    "Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out!" Father John Corapi.

  2.   
  3. #2
    lol those were pretty funny... and very true!
    You can have my freedom as soon as I'm done with it!!!

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon
    Posts
    637
    Nice...I printed that out and hung it in my bathroom.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]In order to rally people, governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid, to hate, so we will rally behind them. And if they don't have a real enemy, they'll invent one in order to mobilize us.

  5. #4
    wolfhunter Guest
    I've been reciting these to my wife as needed for years. She still has trouble with #1.

  6. #5
    Reminds me of the awesome t-shirt I saw in San Antonio - "10 reasons GUNS are better than women..."

    My favorite was "If you complement your friend on his new gun, he'll be glad you noticed and may even let you try it out!"



    But I'll leave that alone now....
    "There is no consitutional right to be protected by the state against being murdered by criminals or madmen." (7th Cir. 1982, Bowers v. DeVito)Stay safe, and stay trained.www.sazsatt.com

  7. #6
    #2. Yes. What is up with the toilet seat thing?
    By faith Noah,being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear,prepared an ark to the saving of his house;by the which he condemned the world,and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith Heb.11:7

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Salem, Oregon, USA
    Posts
    330
    Quote Originally Posted by Cooter View Post
    Nice...I printed that out and hung it in my bathroom.
    Be brave. Post it in HER bathroom.

  9. #8
    my wife has trouble with no.1 also lol
    Let every soul be subject unto the [U.S. Constitution.] For there is no [Constitution] but of God: the [Constitution] that be [is] ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the [Constitution], resisteth the ordinance of God:American Romans Ch.13v1-7 C.Baldwin

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Southern New Hampshire
    Posts
    553
    I feel Your pain, I am married too!
    (All the above are MY opinions/suggestions ONLY....AND, I like to bust ball's, it's called having a sense of humor. In other words, no intent to offend anyone, so get over it)

  11. Quote Originally Posted by Cooter View Post
    Nice...I printed that out and hung it in my bathroom.
    Did you circle the second one?

    Henry

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