Cops say the Darndest things....
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Thread: Cops say the Darndest things....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Battle Creek Mi
    Posts
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    Talking Cops say the Darndest things....

    New version of Art Linkleter's "Kids say the Darnedest things"....

    These are suppose to be actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

    16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
    went through.'

    15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
    stretch after you wear them a while.'

    14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
    certificate a worthless document.'

    13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

    12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
    speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

    11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
    write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

    10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
    it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

    9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
    again or I'll give you another ticket. '

    8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
    drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

    7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
    to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

    6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven.'

    5'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
    allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

    4'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

    3'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

    2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So
    you know someone who can post your bail.'

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
    don't. Sign here.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century
    "Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out!" Father John Corapi.

  2.   
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Nevada
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    Ouch on that last one! rofl

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    37
    Funny stuff there

  5. #4
    The last one is the best one! lol
    "An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."
    -- Robert A. Heinlein, Beyond This Horizon, 1942

  6. #5
    Ouch! ROTFLMAO

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    East of Cleveland.... FAR East !
    Posts
    215
    My friend Scott got pulled over by a trooper one night and the trooper asked Scott if he knew why he pulled him over. Scott replied " because you want to sell me tickets to your ball?" (he says this every time he gets pulled over) The state trooper replied "I am a state trooper, we don't have balls!" Scott kept his mouth shut & just handed over his license and registration.
    "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf". ~George Orwell / Rudyard Kipling

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by mot mayhem View Post
    My friend Scott got pulled over by a trooper one night and the trooper asked Scott if he knew why he pulled him over. Scott replied " because you want to sell me tickets to your ball?" (he says this every time he gets pulled over) The state trooper replied "I am a state trooper, we don't have balls!" Scott kept his mouth shut & just handed over his license and registration.
    Was it a female trooper?

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Honolulu, HI & Salt Lake City, UT
    Posts
    2,797
    Quote Originally Posted by FN1910 View Post
    Was it a female trooper?
    Not necessarily a woman, state troopers in general don't have balls!

    It's actually an old joke that's been around for at least the last 15 to 20 years. I first read it in a magazine a while back.



    gf
    "A few well placed shots with a .22LR is a lot better than a bunch of solid misses with a .44 mag!" Glock Armorer, NRA Chief RSO, Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun, Muzzleloading Rifle, Muzzleloading Shotgun, and Home Firearm Safety Training Counselor

  10. #9
    I keep getting these calls from the local LEO groups wanting me to donate to some cause or to purchase tickets to something. At first I wondered if they kept a list of those that didn't and would look less favorably on me if I didn't help them out if I needed them. Then I founf out that all of them use a marketing firm and the LEO group actually gets only a small percentage of whatever amount they raise. Now I tell them no without worrying about it.

  11. #10
    lol those are pretty funny.
    You can have my freedom as soon as I'm done with it!!!

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