"Guns are banned!"
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Thread: "Guns are banned!"

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Blog Entries

    "Guns are banned!"

    I was taking my kids to Party City (because they want to go since the commercial suggests that wild parties are going on inside at all times) and it happened to be in a building that housed about 10 other businesses and had a shared parking lot. As I got out of the vehicle and started getting them out of their Hilldawg mandated booster seats, a woman with denial about her wrinkles, age and looks (mid 40s with a rediculous spray tan, pink died strands of hair with gray roots showing through, stretch pants that did nothing to conceal her cellulite, a waaay too small underarmor cycling shirt and so much perfume I am still sneezing periodically) came sprinting across the parking lot in her new balance shoes to tell me that she has banned guns on the premises of her business and that I am committing a felony since it is posted. I looked around, a bit confused since I did not see any signs as I entered the parking lot telling me that carry was banned and thus asked her whether or not she owned the building. She replied "I may as well, I have been a tenant here longer than any of the others." At that point, I laughed and locked my car and started to walk away. She followed me into Party City, which is not posted and started gasping and putting her hand on her chest in a wildly exaggerated attempt to look shocked and flabbergasted and sputtered about how I was endangering children and claimed that carrying was "an act of violence on all the children in the store" to a guy in a tie died shirt. I found her hand motions and guestures that for some reason involved gyrating her hips extremely amusing and half expected him to be a liberal, so I stood there and watched to see what would happen next while my kids protested the lack of a party. When she wore herself out, he asked her how she felt about concealed carry and when she shot out the same imaginary nonsense, he lifted his shirt and removed what looked to be a glock 26 in a nylon IWB holster and put the belt clip on the other side and open carried it. I laughed my ass off and bought my kids some candy. I then walked through the shared parking lot past the door of the business she came running out of...which had a "going out of business sign." Hmmm...wonder why???

    Usually, the proximity of Minnesota to my community only produces annoying car crashing sounds and generates about half of our crime, but today it made me laugh. Gotta love the Dayton voters.

  3. Damn,thats funny

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Great story, thanks for sharing.

    I used to be a government-educated stooge. By the grace of God, I repent. -Robert Burris

  5. #4
    Dang, that's an all too vivid picture of the old gal. I'm gonna have nightmares.
    Anyway, great story. Would have loved to have been there to see it.
    Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Dragons ~ For You Are Crunchy And Good With Ketchup

  6. #5
    Left nothing to the imagination.


    Now I gonna have nightmares.

  7. #6
    Great story, but now I am trying to poke my minds eye out from the description of the woman...TOO MUCH INFO!!!!!!!

  8. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Flint, Michigan
    You should be a story writer, this was a hilarious experience. Way to go putting that grotesque woman in her place, sadly I cant get the image you built in my head out...I imagine Ill have trouble sleeping tonight thanks to you. lol.
    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier....One died for your soul; the other for your freedom.

  9. Awesome! Thanks for sharing.

    sent from my mobile using the USA CARRY 2.0 app

  10. #9

    I'm not really a SEAL...but that was damn funny!
    Anyone who says, "I support the 2nd amendment, BUT"... doesn't. Element of Surprise: a mythical element that many believe has the same affect upon criminals that Kryptonite has upon Superman.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Living rent free in Bluesstringer's head apparently
    Quote Originally Posted by NavyLCDR View Post

    I'm not really a SEAL...but that was damn funny!
    That's an Otter
    The finest Vodka is a razor Matthew, it leaves no ragged edges.

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