New Commandant of the Marine Corps
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Thread: New Commandant of the Marine Corps

  1. #1

    New Commandant of the Marine Corps

    Here are two generals with balls and deserve respect for saying what they think. Maybe it's time for some other military men to be as forthright and tell POTUS and Congress what they think. Sounds like the old Marine Corps is coming back!

    Listen up! Here is refreshing news! A General that is tired of the status quo....

    Chaos: General James Mattis Announced As Next Commandant Of Marine Corps
    August 14, 2012

    Washington, D.C. – In a controversial move sure to send shockwaves throughout the Corps, President Obama announced today that Commandant of the Marine Corps General Jim Amos will soon be replaced by General James Mattis.

    Amos indicated his plans to resign early — having served only two years out of the four-year term as Commandant — saying that “he’s getting too old for this ****.”

    “I’m just sick of dealing with these savages in the press and in Congress. They keep asking me questions about snipers pissing on people, nazi flags, and other crap,” said Amos. “I figure Jim [Mattis] will certainly know how to handle them.”

    Not one to mince words, General Mattis is known for controversial quotes — once telling a reporter that it was “fun to shoot some people,” and that his Marines should always “have a plan to kill everyone they meet.”
    Mattis, who announced his plans for retirement months ago, is being recalled for the position as top commander at a time when the Marine Corps transitions from combat to peace.

    “This transition stuff is all a bunch of crap,” said Mattis, after returning from a 30 mile ruck run with an 80-pound pack. ”Our Corps will always be killing people. Even in peace time, I’ll find someone for our boys to kill out there. Yeah, I’m talking to you Iran.”

    When reached for further comment on his promotion, Mattis was glad that he would be staying in uniform.

    “When I announced my retirement, it was at a time when death by PowerPoint was my entire day. I thought I had missed my chance for Commandant,” said Mattis, after spitting out his Red Man chew and downing a double-shot of Jack Daniels. “But now that I am receiving this promotion, it means most of my job is to visit our boys overseas — Afghanistan, Djibouti, Libya — and I can get closer to the action again.”

    Mattis is excited that he can leave the briefing room to get back to “systematically tracking and killing the nation’s enemies with his bare hands,” but he also has other plans for sweeping changes across the Marine Corps.

    “This policy that doesn’t allow sleeve tattoos is a bunch of horseshit,” said General Mattis, as he shows off his own full-sleeve tattoos running down both arms. “So that’s the first thing to go.”

    Another policy change includes a change to physical training. While most infantry Marines can probably keep up with the General on runs, Mattis says that he wants everyone to live up to the ethos of “Every Marine a Rifleman.”

    “These air wingers and admin folks think they are sitting pretty, only heading to the gym or not doing PT at all,” said Mattis, in between his third round of 350lb back squats. “So I’ll also be leading them in 15 mile runs until they shape up.”

    Finally, Mattis says he’ll reverse the no-hazing policy that Marines have been under since the nineties, saying that it’s “good goddamn training.”

    “Listen, I don’t like stupid ****,” said Mattis. “but if you’re one of my fine young men about to go on deployment and you have a boot who isn’t listening, I think it’s a valuable training tool to duct tape him to a bench, mentor on an emotional level with a wall-to-wall counseling session, or make him dig a hole to China.”

    Mattis continued: “I mean hell, that’s where we’re going [China] eventually anyway. Might as well train like we fight.”

    General Mattis is expected to take command at the beginning of the new fiscal year.

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Kitsap County, Washington
    Semper Fi and long live the Marines!

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Greenville SC
    Blog Entries
    Why isn't this guy running for President?
    Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Oklahoma, for now
    If you got that from The Duffel Blog, you should know that entire site is satire. Like a military version of The Onion.

    The Duffel Blog serves the men and women of the US Military with a daily dose of military humor, funny military pictures, and faux news
    Bob Mueller
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  6. #5
    That does sound like a "The Duffel Blog" or "The Onion" story. Pretty funny though if it's true, I like the descriptive text, especially where it says "after spitting out his Red Man chew and taking a double shot of Jack Daniels."

  7. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    lol, check the source of your quote before you bother re quoting.

    reminds me of a radio interview i heard this afternoon on my drive back from work. it was about how the right (commercials/romney/etc) are saying obama removed the work requirement from welfare or something. some republican lady quoted that spiel almost verbatim (as she was fed it of course), and then after it was explained to her that all the political fact checking sites said its complete BS, she changed her tune to say something along the lines of 'well, i'm not sure what's true and what isn't, but i trust romney to tell me the truth more than obama' ...right after she's been told that what she's been chewing on was republican s*it flavored like candy, she's still hungry for more.

    that's the problem with the general populace, they thing they're republicans or democrats and are too stupid to bother thinking about anything that they think they know, just eat up whatever is fed to them.

  8. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by cmhbob View Post
    If you got that from The Duffel Blog, you should know that entire site is satire. Like a military version of The Onion.
    Nope. That isn't where I got it. Never heard of The Duffle Bag before.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Republic of Dead Cell Holler, Occupied Territories of AL, former USA
    Quote Originally Posted by Oldgrunt View Post
    Nope. That isn't where I got it. Never heard of The Duffle Bag before.
    Indirectly or otherwise, that is where you got it from, and it is satire. Funny satire. Entertaining satire. Wish-it-were-true-and-sorry-to-say-it-ain't satire, but satire nonetheless.

  10. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Oldgrunt View Post
    Nope. That isn't where I got it. Never heard of The Duffle Bag before.
    Duffle BLOG..

    and yeah, damn funny... too bad it's not true!

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    The Real World
    Quote Originally Posted by kerb View Post
    Why isn't this guy running for President?
    Or maybe this guy.
    Lubbock County Texas Judge Tom Head: Raise Taxes to Prepare for ‘Civil War’ if Obama is Re-Elected | Video |
    In America today, it's considered worse to judge evil than to do evil. Never let these Christophobic Liberal Progressive Purveyors of Infanticide & Homosexual Perversion who always manipulate truth to be hate speech set the terms in a debate.

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