New Chemical Element
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Thread: New Chemical Element

  1. #1

    New Chemical Element

    Email from a friend I received today.



    Subject: Fwd: New Chemical Element



    Moving at the speed of government. I trust you will enjoy this one!

    The recent hurricanes and gasohol issues are proof of the existence of a
    new chemical element. A major research institution has recently
    announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

    The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one
    neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
    deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
    detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into
    contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause an action that would
    normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but
    instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
    neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's
    mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will
    cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
    that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
    concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
    morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
    Administratium.. .an element that radiates just as much energy as
    Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

  2.   
  3. #2
    Join Date
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    I teach physics and I have to say, my students (as well as the local Chemistry teacher's students) will find this most amusing. Thank you for posting.

    Do you have a cite or who it was written by?
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote."
    ~ Benjamin Franklin (maybe)

  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by wolf_fire View Post
    I teach physics and I have to say, my students (as well as the local Chemistry teacher's students) will find this most amusing. Thank you for posting.

    Do you have a cite or who it was written by?
    None other than my friend who sent it to me. He didn't name the author.

  5. #4
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    NRA Certified Pistol Instructor
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    Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.

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