President One-Trick Pony Ate My Gun
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Thread: President One-Trick Pony Ate My Gun

  1. #1

    President One-Trick Pony Ate My Gun

    Dear family and conservative friends,

    It's up to every one of us conservatives to begin conversations with the less-informed people within our circle of influence. This week's fable can help you do just that. Suggestions on what to say are offered at the end of the story.

    Thanks for educating others so they will step up and make a difference.

    Waaah! President One-Trick-Phony Ate My Gun~

    Once upon a time . . . BO eats and points
    honest-and-hard-working people (sometimes called "red-neck Bible thumpers") who lived in the heartland, honored God, conservative values, and their Constitution. They volunteered for community activities and seriously followed political issues on the national level.

    One year, they observed a presidential candidate who, in every teleprompter speech, repeated "fair share" so often they nicknamed him Senator One-Trick-Pony.
    But then, during a campaign junket through the heartland, the Senator visited a county fair where he ate apple pie, (but declined a corn dog), patted Bobby's heifer, (but not his blue-ribbon hog), and admired the American flag sewn by Mary Margaret's first-grade class.
    Hmmm. Maybe they'd been wrong about him. He seemed like a regular Joe who loved all things Americana.
    However, shortly thereafter, the Senator revealed his true self while collecting campaign dollar$ from a crowd of west-coast left wingers. Off c

    amera, but not out of ear shot, he remarked about having just rubbed elbows with people who didn't like anyone who wasn't just like them, and desperately clung to their guns and their God.
    Golly gee, that stung worse than being dumped into a nest of hornets. The honest-and-hard-working people who lived in the heartland realized they'd been snookered. They renamed him Senator One-Trick-Phony. This nickname went viral and stuck to him like super glue.
    He added them to his enemies list, and vowed revenge. After he became president, he'd get even with those gun-and-God clingers, using whatever means might be at his disposal: shame, ridicule, or executive order. But, after taking office, instead of going after the folks in Mid-America, he embarked on non-stop apology tours to countries in the Mid-east and Europe.

    The honest-and-hard-working people who lived in the heartland had given more than their fair share of blood, sweat, and tears to preserve freedom at home and abroad, and spoke up. "Stop groveling! Grow a spine! Stand up for the country that elected you!" They revived his One-Trick-Phony label which went viral, ever more so than before.
    Not one to let an insult go unanswered twice, President One-Trick-Phony ranted, "I'll show them. First I'll take away their guns and then I'll declare religion to be un-Constitutional. I'll make those gun-and-God clingers so afraid of me they'll grovel and bow and tremble with fear when I point my forefinger in their direction."
    His most trusted advisor nodded in agreement, and then whispered into President-One-Trick-Phony's ear, "Bzzzzz congress, bzzzzzz register, bzzzzzz confiscate."
    But drats! The plan didn't work. The Senate voted against his gun registration bill. (In truth, many of them were hunters. As advised by the vice-president, some even kept shotguns by their front doors to shoot into the air to scare away intruders.)

    His advisor whispered "Plan B" into President One-Trick-Phony's other ear. "Bzzzzzz executive order, bzzzzzz schools, bzzzzzz fear."
    And so it came to pass that President One-Trick-Phony's "intimidation program" became the law of the land through executive order, enforced by members of the teachers' unions who were ordered to follow the program or else lose their jobs and their pensions.
    The program unfolded with much fanfare and coverage from the
    go-along / get-along / not-to-be-spied-upon media.

    Attachment 10039
    When Mary Margaret told her friend she was going to shoot her with soap bubbles, quick as a wink the child was sent to the principal's office. Reporters from NPR, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, and the New York Times immediately appeared on the scene to interrogate her parents and launch a national boycott against soap-bubble guns.
    Then, Bobby and his eight-year-old friends were apprehended (and given rap sheets) for having committed the crime of sticking up their thumbs, pointing their forefingers, and yelling "bang, bang" during a spirited game of cowboys and indigenous people.
    And so it came to pass that any school child caught with a toy gun, or playing gun-related games, or speaking the "g" word was forced to wear a tee-shirt with a scarlet "G" stenciled on the front and back.
    Then, a terrible event occurred during President One-Trick-Phony's "token" school visit. When six-year-old Rebecca broke off pieces of her pastry tart so the remaining shape resembled a gun. the President (who no longer was allowed to eat sugar as per edict from the missus) gobbled it down, then pointed his

    Attachment 10040
    forefinger at her.
    Rebecca screamed in terror and cried for mommy as she was arrested, fingerprinted, and turned into the gun-biased-trouble-making poster child of the year
    The intimidation program expanded until anything and everything that remotely resembled a gun was banned. This included the letter "L," and the

    BO & poptart

    gun-shaped states of Oklahoma, Maryland, Idaho, Louisiana, Florida, and Massachusetts.

    Does this story have a happy ending? NO. Especially for citizens whose properties were confiscated when their gun-shaped states were donated to the United Nations in commemoration of the Senate ratification of the Agenda 21 treaty. (But whoopsie! That's a fable for another day.)

    USE THIS FABLE to start the conversation with a low-information person in your universe. Ask them: what's happened to citizens in countries where they no longer own guns?
    Or, ask if they think our government would abuse the information once they have the names of registered gun owners? How big or small a step would it take to confiscate all guns?
    Then, make the case for your constitutional right to protect yourself and your family.

    If you would enjoy a sneak preview of Chapter One from Molli's upcoming Politically Incorrect book, "UNCLE SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country," CLICK HERE. A former publisher, Time-Life editor, motivational speaker, and author, Molli writes Politically Incorrect fables to amuse patriots, enlighten low-information voters, and irritate progressives. Additional fables and daily rants are posted at Politically Incorrect Fables for a Cranky Country - HOME

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    SE FL and SE OH
    It would be funny if it weren't true. Dad's generation had guns in the back of the school room for hunting after school. My generation had them in the back windows of their pickups at school. This generation can't even take one out of the home without getting in trouble and that is even with a toy gun.
    NRA Certified Pistol Instructor
    NRA Certified RSO
    Normal is an illusion. What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.

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