The Year is 2059
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Thread: The Year is 2059

  1. #1

    The Year is 2059

    Given the current condition of the country and the direction we seem to be heading, this might not be so absurd. Anyway, a little levity can go a long way around here!

    THE YEAR IS 2059

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest Country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help.


    Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.


    Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such
    a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

    Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony. They had simultaneous Headaches.

    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

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  3. #2
    That's 40 years form now. Are you sure it will take it that long to reach that point?

  4. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by TAC View Post
    That's 40 years form now. Are you sure it will take it that long to reach that point?
    Well, no, I doubt very seriously that it will take long at all. I am not projecting any activities past this new year!

  5. #4
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldgrunt View Post
    Well, no, I doubt very seriously that it will take long at all. I am not projecting any activities past this new year!
    Considering that we are already 71 years into what Christ revealed to be the Last Generation (1948-2028), not projecting anything past this new year is very wise indeed. Maranatha!
    Comfort One Another With These Words Also...THERE WILL NOT BE ANOTHER GENERATION
    (1948-2028)

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