Cops say the Darndest things....


Sheldon

New member
New version of Art Linkleter's "Kids say the Darnedest things"....

These are suppose to be actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through.'

15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket. '

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.'

5'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

4'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

3'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So
you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.
 

mot mayhem

New member
My friend Scott got pulled over by a trooper one night and the trooper asked Scott if he knew why he pulled him over. Scott replied " because you want to sell me tickets to your ball?" (he says this every time he gets pulled over) The state trooper replied "I am a state trooper, we don't have balls!" Scott kept his mouth shut & just handed over his license and registration.
 

FN1910

New member
My friend Scott got pulled over by a trooper one night and the trooper asked Scott if he knew why he pulled him over. Scott replied " because you want to sell me tickets to your ball?" (he says this every time he gets pulled over) The state trooper replied "I am a state trooper, we don't have balls!" Scott kept his mouth shut & just handed over his license and registration.
Was it a female trooper? :cray:
 
Was it a female trooper? :cray:
Not necessarily a woman, state troopers in general don't have balls! :haha: :lol:

It's actually an old joke that's been around for at least the last 15 to 20 years. I first read it in a magazine a while back.



gf
 

FN1910

New member
I keep getting these calls from the local LEO groups wanting me to donate to some cause or to purchase tickets to something. At first I wondered if they kept a list of those that didn't and would look less favorably on me if I didn't help them out if I needed them. Then I founf out that all of them use a marketing firm and the LEO group actually gets only a small percentage of whatever amount they raise. Now I tell them no without worrying about it.
 
W

wolfhunter

Guest
I keep getting these calls from the local LEO groups wanting me to donate to some cause or to purchase tickets to something. At first I wondered if they kept a list of those that didn't and would look less favorably on me if I didn't help them out if I needed them. Then I founf out that all of them use a marketing firm and the LEO group actually gets only a small percentage of whatever amount they raise. Now I tell them no without worrying about it.
This off the Okaloosa Co. Sheriff's website:
***** A WORD OF ADVICE ABOUT TELEPHONE SOLICITORS: Neither the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office nor the Florida Sheriff's Association use telephone solicitation at any time, and do not endorse any group that solicits by telephone.*****
 

Sheldon

New member
This off the Okaloosa Co. Sheriff's website:
***** A WORD OF ADVICE ABOUT TELEPHONE SOLICITORS: Neither the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office nor the Florida Sheriff's Association use telephone solicitation at any time, and do not endorse any group that solicits by telephone.*****
That is true about most police agency's, they do not solicit money for their projects.... they use other methods that do not make it voulantary....
 

truckie011

New member
AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.
This last one was taken from the truetv channel's show "Speeders". I about fell on the floor when I heared the cop say it to the gal. The thing was, she wasn't that bad looking in her early 20s. But she had one hell of a bad attitude.
 

Tackleberry561

Tackleberry
I was pulled over years ago(my first and only ticket)knock on wood.
The Deputy asked me if I knew how fast I was going........I calmly said No,but do you know how fast you were going to catch up with me? :biggrin:$187.50 later I learned Not to say that anymore.
 

oldbanjo

New member
The last one that called me (after asking a lot of questions) told me that they collected money to buy weight lifting and other things for the prisoners. I gave no money, the Hell with the prisoners.
 

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