I'm a Democrat Because


elkhuntCO

SEMPER FI
I got this in an email and the truth is quite entertaining. Enjoy!


I'm a Democrat=2 0because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I'm a Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I'm a Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I'm a Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm a Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm a Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm a Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm a Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies, so long as we keep all death row inmates and al Qaeda terrorists alive.

I'm a Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I'm a Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm a Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything he doesn't own."




Semper Fi
 

W

wolfhunter

Guest
I read the thread's title and my first response was, "I thought he was smarter than that." Then I read the opening post and found out your conceptualization is accurate.
 

astute

New member
Hope you don't mind, but I copied it and posted it on another forum and also emailed it to a few select friends I knew would like it. Changed the title to "A bit of truthful humor".
Don't know where you found it, but it generally hits the nail square on the head:laugh:
 
Obama Fans

A teacher in Beaverton, Oregon asked her 6th grade class how
many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what a Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their
hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...Again.

Little Johnny says, 'Because I'm not a Obama fan.'

The teacher says, 'Why aren't you a Obama fan?'

Johnny says, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asks Him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my mom's a Republican and my dad's A Republican, so I'm a Republican'

The teacher asks, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replies,
'That would make me a Obama fan '
 
W

wolfhunter

Guest
Obama Fans

A teacher in Beaverton, Oregon asked her 6th grade class how
many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what a Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their
hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...Again.

Little Johnny says, 'Because I'm not a Obama fan.'

The teacher says, 'Why aren't you a Obama fan?'

Johnny says, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asks Him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my mom's a Republican and my dad's A Republican, so I'm a Republican'

The teacher asks, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replies,
'That would make me a Obama fan '

I always liked Little Johnny.
 

Cari A.

Crazy Horse Lady
LOL....:laugh: good ones...but I take exception to the Democrat marrying his horse...horses are smarter than that!!
 

Red Hat

New member
Those were great!

Hussein 13-69

For Kenya so loved the world, that it gave its only cozener Son, so that all minions that believeth in him should not prosper, but have everlasting debt and misery.
 

OldOwl

New member
I'm a Democrat because I believe it is intelligent to fund PETA and outlaw goose hunting, even if it means spending millions of tax dollars figuring a way to keep them out of jet engines over Manhattan. :biggrin:
 

Pele

VA State CCW Holder!
I'm an independent/moderate. I have to disagree with a few.

I'm a Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

Find me a horse that can say "I do" and sign on the marriage certificate. (A legally binding contract, so minors are out too.) I could honestly care less who anyone decides to marry. Man-Woman, Woman-Woman, or Man-Man...
So long as it's not me getting married. As stated in another. I like being the one in control of my money.

I'm a Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I'm not so big on the amount taxed or profit made. I'm actually pissed off that they can fix the price by shutting down effectively manipulating the laws fo supply and demand to their favor.

I'm a Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

The place is a clusterfuck. Let them kill each other or turn it into a glass parking lot.

I'm a Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

Drive what you want, just don't bitch to me when it takes $100 to fill up your H1 on diesel and it's too big to park at the mall.

I'm a Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies, so long as we keep all death row inmates and al Qaeda terrorists alive.

I'm not a big fan of either prisoners OR babies. Kill both; Lousy freeloaders.
I'd rather the baby be dead than collecting my tax dollars in the form of welfare.
I sent in a letter to volunteer at the local department of corrections to pull the switch on the chair... I have yet to receive a reply.

I'm a Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

See the fuel one...

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything he doesn't own."

I'll help someone who's down on their luck out... But if someone's constantly down on their luck, I don't want any of that bad luck to rub off on me.
 
Last edited:

gdcleanfun

Banned
Another hate speech post. Geez, someday I hope to educate you all on what a real compassionate person can be, Republican or Democrat.
 

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