Helping a female coworker...
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Thread: Helping a female coworker...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    3,098

    Exclamation Helping a female coworker...

    OK here is the situation...
    A female co-worker has been repeatedly threatened by her ex and his family.
    She is eligible for a FL CCW (she has a DD214 and a clean background)
    I have given her all the information of where to go and who to call to get her FL CCW.
    Now she wants me to teach her to become a better shot.
    I am afraid that Mrs. Festus will not take kindly to this and I do not blame her.
    Are there any female shooting groups in Northwest Florida that I can refer her to to avoid any appearance of moral or ethical compromise?
    FESTUS
    IN OMNIA PARATUS

  2.   
  3. #2
    wolfhunter Guest
    Festus, Try these folks: ERML - Escambia River Muzzle Loaders Inc. - Florida

    and contact Pete:
    Peter B. Straub
    NRA Master Training Counselor
    Ft. Walton Beach, FL 32547

    Home Phone: (850) 864-2761

    E-mail: [email protected]

    NRA Master Training Counselor
    Instructor Training Classes and Basic Firearm Classes
    Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun, Personal Protection
    Range Safety Officer, Basic Reloading class
    Muzzle Loading Rifle, Pistol, and Shotgun
    Basic Pistol and Personal Protection class may be used
    to pursue the Florida Concealed Weapons License

  4. #3
    festus I would suggest that if you do consider teaching her that you talk to your wife first and have your wife come along for any instruction time.
    By faith Noah,being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear,prepared an ark to the saving of his house;by the which he condemned the world,and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith Heb.11:7

  5. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by HK4U View Post
    festus I would suggest that if you do consider teaching her that you talk to your wife first and have your wife come along for any instruction time.
    +1 to what HK4U said.. She might as well learn from someone as knowledgeable as you!!
    Festus, at least you understand that the situation could be misconstrued regardless of your intent.. Good Job on maintaining integrity..

    Gulf Coast, Floriduh
    Sccy is the limit

  6. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by festus View Post
    OK here is the situation...
    A female co-worker has been repeatedly threatened by her ex and his family.
    She is eligible for a FL CCW (she has a DD214 and a clean background)
    I have given her all the information of where to go and who to call to get her FL CCW.
    Now she wants me to teach her to become a better shot.
    I am afraid that Mrs. Festus will not take kindly to this and I do not blame her.
    Are there any female shooting groups in Northwest Florida that I can refer her to to avoid any appearance of moral or ethical compromise?
    I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

    " I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

    She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

    What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

    p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!

  7. #6
    Join Date
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    Exclamation THAT'S WHY i ASKED THE ETHICS QUESTION!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by GOV5 View Post
    I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

    " I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

    She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

    What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

    p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!
    I was already thinking down those lines. I will forward to her the instructor info that Wolfhunter provided...I trust his judgement implicitly! That will allow me to be of help without the involvement previously mentioned.
    FESTUS
    IN OMNIA PARATUS

  8. #7
    tell her to get an order of protection and a tape recorder so it's not her word against his if he contacts her.
    A citizen who shirks his duty to contribute to the security of his community is little better than the criminal who threatens it.

  9. #8
    Join Date
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    MA, Away from the liberal loonies...
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    Quote Originally Posted by HK4U View Post
    festus I would suggest that if you do consider teaching her that you talk to your wife first and have your wife come along for any instruction time.
    +1 Best advice. Truth shall set you free.

    Peace...
    You can give peace a chance alright..

    I'll seek cover in case it goes badly..

  10. Quote Originally Posted by GOV5 View Post
    I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

    " I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

    She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

    What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

    p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!
    In this case I agree that he can probably help her more than enough from a safe distance, but I have to disagree with the overall use of the philosophy you put forth. Due to some personal experiances I have a hard time even believing a "damsel in distress" or any one for that matter, but dispite an almost sickening lack of trust that I've developed, the whole idea of walking away from anyone who is in need of help even if somewhat inconvienent is just something I can't imagine being something I could or most people should do.

  11. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by LethalMouse View Post
    In this case I agree that he can probably help her more than enough from a safe distance, but I have to disagree with the overall use of the philosophy you put forth. Due to some personal experiances I have a hard time even believing a "damsel in distress" or any one for that matter, but dispite an almost sickening lack of trust that I've developed, the whole idea of walking away from anyone who is in need of help even if somewhat inconvienent is just something I can't imagine being something I could or most people should do.
    Well, normally I don't walk away from those in need either. And the Business Principle I learned is mainly for business, not friendships. A lot of folks in business want you to solve their problems for them..thus the principle.

    However, in this case, and most cases of separation/divorce, it's best not to get too involved. The reason in this case: he only knows ONE side of the story. In separations, there is ALWAYS two sides of the story. I didn't say to be cold to the woman. You can still lend a friendly ear when she wants to talk. But I wouldn't EVER get involved personally in a separation/divorce case. They just get too sticky for my tastes.

    And I also have this stance about co-workers. You are a co-worker of mine. I had no choice in picking you. We are put together for 8+ hours a day because of employment, that's all. Don't assume any thing more of our relationship. I will choose my friends myself, not an employer. Just because I work with you doesn't make you a bosom buddy of mine. I just don't like to get real chummy with workers. You have to maintain a professional relationship, and getting real friendly works against that in some cases.

    Besides, counseling is better done by a professional, like a member of the clergy. Have her go to her Pastor.
    Last edited by GOV5; 07-05-2010 at 07:48 AM. Reason: to add

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