Need tips to convince wife afraid of handguns
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Thread: Need tips to convince wife afraid of handguns

  1. Need tips to convince wife afraid of handguns

    At the risk of sounding chauvinistic, what would you ladies recommend I do to convince my wife that handguns in the house or for concealed carry are not a severe risk to our kids (7, 10, 11, 13, and 15 years old)?

    After the 2012 election she was ok with me getting a shotgun for hunting and home defense as long as it was always kept in a safe. When I later suggested getting a handgun for close quarters and CC defense, she was adamant that we not do so.

    Two of our kids are special needs kids. Part of their issues are anger/impulse management and also "sneakiness" and not knowing the meaning of "no". One in particular is scarily resourceful at getting into stuff he's not supposed to. Even with lots of gun safety education, his insatiable curiosity and desire to play with anything awesome and destructive is a big problem around here. Her fear is that even with a safe, one mistake on my part of leaving it open (I'm absentminded sometimes) would lead to disaster. I don't feel that I would be absentminded about a gun safe, but that's beside the point. The main issue would be with CC. If one of these boys gets mad or curious enough about something and takes advantage of an opportunity while the gun is on my person, that could get very bad.

    She doesn't think guns are evil and she supports the 2nd Amendment. It's just that she, in her own words, has "a very active imagination" about everything that could go wrong and the anxiety about the risks is too great.

    I want to respect her wishes on this but with everything going down the way it is with politics and the economy, I want more defense options for my family. Quicker ones for close quarters and CC.

    Any thoughts or advice?

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  3. #2
    Biometric gun safes and deep conceal holsters, like the 3Speed. (3 Speed Holster)

    You won't forget to close this: Gunvault SpeedVault SVB500 gun safe - Amazon.com Keep the extra key somewhere impossible to get at, and the kids can't get in unless they cut your fingers off. You'll notice if they try that.

    And wearing a holster that's actually inside your pants will probably deter kids as well. Can't imagine they want to go there.
    Modern Whig
    "Government is not meant to burden Liberty but rather to secure it." -T.J. O'Hara

  4. GOOD LUCK with your problem . There is only one thing i can think of that will work - - - D I V O R C E ! ! ! ! !

  5. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by telpinaro View Post
    Biometric gun safes and deep conceal holsters, like the 3Speed. (3 Speed Holster)

    You won't forget to close this: Gunvault SpeedVault SVB500 gun safe - Amazon.com Keep the extra key somewhere impossible to get at, and the kids can't get in unless they cut your fingers off. You'll notice if they try that.

    And wearing a holster that's actually inside your pants will probably deter kids as well. Can't imagine they want to go there.
    What ^she^ said. All good ideas.
    Apparently your wife does agree that you need some type of home protection, so that's good. But ask her about a home invasion where you don't have time to open your safe to get to your shotgun. You might as well not even have it. How are you going to protect her and your children with a shotgun that's locked in a safe? It's a lot easier with a gun that's strapped to you. And also remind her that not all threats will come to your home.
    Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Dragons ~ For You Are Crunchy And Good With Ketchup

  6. RE: Need tips to convince wife afraid of handguns

    Quote Originally Posted by barrygray0 View Post
    GOOD LUCK with your problem . There is only one thing i can think of that will work - - - D I V O R C E ! ! ! ! !
    Not an option, and not very helpful advice. :(

  7. Thanks. I've talked to her about "what ifs". She's a very, very smart woman (three bachelor's degrees all earned in 4 years, one in psychology) and is very capable of using logic and statistics to put across her own perspective on the risks I bring up. The "Knockout Game" issue that's becoming more prevalent is something we haven't talked out in the context of CC.

    However, we live so far away from that type of environment that I'm not sure it'd convince her. Our community is really quite safe, and our home is located in a secluded place that is impossible for people to find even when we want them to come to our house, so we have reasonable "security through obscurity". Still, though, I dread that one freak moment when you want a CC gun and don't have one. Her answer is that those moments are statistically as likely as us winning the lottery or being struck by lightning. Still at a deadlock.

    Guess I'll just have to try to get her to a range someday. Maybe as a surprise date. (Did I mention she doesn't particularly like surprises?) LOL

  8. Thanks. That's a really cool vault. I've never seen that one before and I like how it's more like a holster than a box.

  9. #8
    there is nothing you can say or do to change her mind she will either come around or she won't the more you push it the harder the push back will be

  10. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by p2b4f View Post
    However, we live so far away from that type of environment that I'm not sure it'd convince her. Our community is really quite safe, and our home is located in a secluded place that is impossible for people to find even when we want them to come to our house, so we have reasonable "security through obscurity". Still, though, I dread that one freak moment when you want a CC gun and don't have one. Her answer is that those moments are statistically as likely as us winning the lottery or being struck by lightning. Still at a deadlock.
    I'm sure you've heard all these before, but they bear repeating.

    Does she think it's a good idea to wait until the house is burning to buy insurance? The chances of the house burning are extremely small, especially with good maintenance, etc... but they will never be zero. Ditto for keeping a fire extinguisher and a lot of other things. The risk of an attack can be very, very small where you are, but they will never be zero. And DURING that attack, the risk is 100%.

    Yes, there are risks and some work involved in keeping and using self defense tools, but the alternative can be life changing, even if not always life threatening. Learning optimal situational awareness and avoidance of places, people and activities that would make her more vulnerable would be better than nothing, for sure.

    I had to shoot a man to save my life 30 years ago. Here's the story, if you can get her to read it. The Man I Might Have Killed | The Price of Liberty I've written a small book about it, and will send it free to anyone who asks for it. Just read the story for that information.

    I carry a gun every day, everywhere I go - even though I live in rural Wyoming and the crime rate here is very, very low. It isn't zero, however. Three times in the last 8 years I have displayed my gun, without having to draw, and three potential muggers decided that this old lady was not actually a helpless victim. I refuse to be any kind of victim.

    But, in the end, it is up to her. Challenge her with the truth, the real RISK factors, and then leave her alone to make up her own mind. That's really about all anyone can do.
    NRA Certified instructor: handgun, self defense, CRSO (retired 2017)

  11. #10
    My first suggestion is TREAD LIGHTLY MY FRIEND!


    Divorce is pretty extreme. Gentle education will be much more cost effective Someone OTHER than you should do the educating. Maybe a gun safety course for the family would be something she would respond to, especially if the instructor is female.
    Typos are for the entertainment of the reader. Don't let it go to your head!

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