What Firearms Can Reveal About Your Personality

What Firearms Can Reveal About Your Personality

NOTE: This article is an attempt at humor. Maybe not a great attempt, but an attempt nonetheless. Please refrain from taking it too seriously.

Ah, Constant Readers, we’ve had some great conversations via these articles, but they  mostly tend toward the serious: CCW law, concealed carry tactics and techniques, everyday preparedness, the realities of self defense in these United States.  And while that’s a good and rich endeavor, I feel like we might benefit from a lighter mood on occasion. So, toward that end, let’s dust off the stereotypes, dig into the stock jokes, and beat a few dead horses as we discover What Your Firearm Says  About You.

The following results are totally nonscientific and presented in no particular order.

Large Frame Revolvers

You want to be Dirty Harry. Or a cowboy. Or Clint Eastwood playing a cowboy. Either way, the odds are good that you’ve stood in front of a mirror in your boxers wearing a gun belt rehearsing lines from your favorite movies. And why no, I’m not feeling lucky today—thanks for asking, though!

You’re old school. A classic. An heir to the tradition of noir detectives and Second World War heroes. You believe in getting the job done, no matter what, and doing it the old fashioned way. Also, deep inside, some part of you fears change. A lot.

Polymer Frame Pistols of No Particular Make or Model

You celebrate the innovative reliability of Austrian engineering by selecting a handgun renown for both utter reliability and a complete lack of aesthetic appeal. Heavy triggers don’t worry you—either because you have the grip strength of a gorilla or you just don’t know better. You get the job done under any circumstances, despite your lack of imagination.

Small Frame Revolvers

You’re either a retired cop or a big fan of old cop movies. Chances are you can quote “The French Connection” or “The Untouchables” chapter and verse. You believe firmly that reliability and accuracy trump caliber any day.  And that’s probably true—as long as you’re not two weeks from retirement.

Desert Eagle .50AE

You are a man. A man’s man. A manly man. A man so manly that only the largest of handguns can contain his manliness. You carry a .50 because they don’t make a .51—yet. But when it becomes available, you’ll buy it immediately, thus fueling further speculation about what exactly you’re compensating for.

Sig Sauer P226

Wearing pants with an absurd number of pockets? Listening to a podcast about government conspiracies? Got a year’s supply of food in your basement? We thought so.

FN Five-Seven Tactical

You are a forward thinking person, looking to the future of tactical handguns and very much liking what you see. You’re an innovator, a dynamic soul focused on finding the best of what’s to come. Your probably also come equipped with a trust fund or a great portfolio, but that’s none of our business.

Again, folks, it’s all in good fun. So let’s keep the party going! Share your (good natured) takes on firearms and personality types either in the comments or via email.  Just keep it polite and—as always—stay safe out there!

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  • Tim Holt

    What? No 1911s? The 1911 is my main carry and I have 5 different ones depending on my state of dress or if I am at work or not. Texas is now open carry so I do have more choices to carry. I also carry large frame revolvers and small frames as well. I have several Bersa pistols too, 45, 9mm and 380. everything in my collection gets a turn at one point or another. Absolutely NO striker fired anything! Yes I do have a high a capacity pistol, a Para double stack 45 full size 1911 14+1.
    Kimber stainless steel II is my work gun, it is openly carried, has been WAY before Texas passed open carry.
    Colt Combat Elite Mark 4 Series 80. This is a very early enhanced model. I would love to find another one. This is my dress formal pistol.
    Then there is everything else in between. Lots of in between.
    What that say about me?

    • Green Hornet

      you are a Boy Scout!? Eagle?

      • Tim Holt

        Nah. Just an old fart that likes what I like. And if I can afford to, collect them

  • Sir TuberKopf

    Why do I like Sig Sauers, because every time I type the name, autocorrect tries to make it Sig Sauer Kraut. ROTFLMAO! Makes it like a secret code to find their web site!

  • Jason Bourne

    Enjoying the comedy Michael! Thanks for lightening the mood of articles that must, as a general rule, deal with the most serious of subjects.

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