Concealed Carry and Your Relationship: A Couple’s Guide to Self Defense

Relationships: the vast majority of us spend at least some time in one, and there are a great many benefits to them. And they can affect, change, reshape, and re-imagine everything—from the ways in which we see ourselves to the position of the toilet seat in our bathrooms.  Your concealed carry habits are no exception to this trend. Having an intimate partner—particularly one who lives with you—necessitates a re thinking of your CCW setup and tactics. As I’m overly fond of pointing out: every one of us is in a unique situation, and I can’t give blanket, universal rules to follow. I will however offer some guidelines and suggestions for you to think over collectively.

First of all, there needs to be complete disclosure and honesty about CCW, especially if you live together. All parties involved need to know where the guns are, how to use and maintain them, and how the other person carries.  There are both safety and tactical considerations at work here. I’ve long held that proficiency with firearms is the surest way to prevent accidents, along with safe storage practices. Tactically, it only makes sense to have everyone up to speed—in the event of home invasion, either one of you may have to defend yourselves. The idea that one party in the marriage can play full time sheepdog is myopic; you’re not around all the time and even if you are you might be taken out of the fight.

Read More: Why Both Spouses Should Be Armed

Secondly, consider your weapons and tactics. There are two of you now, so settling on a standard CCW/magazines/ammo might make sense—if the balloon goes up you can effectively resupply the other person.  Tossing someone a magazine when they’re dry is most likely to happen in a war movie, but on the off chance it happens in real life you’ll be grateful.  On a related note: now that there are two of you, you have a lot more firepower. Any infantryman will tell you that 2 vs 10 is a lot easier than 1 vs 5 (pro tip: neither is desirable). By training together and learning to work tactically as a team, you’ll increase your chances of coming out on top in a self defense situation. And who knows—you  might have some fun and bond further in the process.

At a bare minimum, you’ll want to make sure you both have some training and practice on a regular basis. No excuses: you both need to be at the range running CCW drills at least once a month.  As my college fencing coach was fond of saying: perfect practice makes perfect permanent. It’s like having a gym buddy—you can hold each other accountable and make sure that it gets done.

I’ve saved the elephant in the room for last: What do you do if your partner is adamantly opposed to CWW or the Second Amendment in general? That’s a tough one—a lot has been written already—but at the least a very frank conversation is in order. I hope, if you find yourself in this situation—that the other person comes around.

If you and your partner/spouse both CCW, I’d really like to hear about your experiences or ideas. Please email or add something in the comment section. Until then: stay safe out there.